Being a sheep ...

... and following along with the flock doing a "quick" 2013 round up.

January:

• Still (quietly) patting myself on the back for winning Austral Bricks WA Employee of the Year for 2012.  The fact that I managed to (unintentionally) insult the Managing Director and keep my job apparently got me more points than all the work I did, but I'll take the win (and the $1500 Flight Centre voucher .. woohoo!  I can see a nice holiday in my future).
• Actually went out quad bike riding with the boys (all four of them) and didn't kill myself, break anything or hurt anyone else .. go me!
• Celebrated Alex's friend Chris' 18th birthday at Sizzler's in Kelmscott.
• Managed to get some more of the backyard finished and made some quirky crafty items for my upcoming birthday.  Bowls made from old records anyone?

February:

• Finally got the backyard landscaping guy to come back and finish it.
• Turned 40 ... aaaargghh!!  Celebrated with a 70's themed birthday party and had a great time.
• My 'baby' boy, Brad, turned 14!  Where is the time going??

March:

• Painted the 'spare' room for Mum to move into while she builds her new house.
• Tried my hand at fruit and vege gardening...

April:

• Let Alex drive us up to Ikea for a day out only to have his car die on the Cedric St off-ramp .. thank God for RAC road patrol! $250 for a new battery later, we were able to get his car going again just in time to go home.
• Celebrated Debbie's 50th birthday with high tea at Little Nich's Cafe.  Nice food, dribbly teapots and lovely company .. great day!!
• Clare came over to have a ride on the scooter to practise for her trip to Greece.  
• Commiserated with Deb over her baby, Amy, turning 16.

May:

• Had an early Mother's Day celebration with Mum, Clare, Rich and my tribe at the Mundijong Pub.  Peter and Richard went for a country motorbike ride first and met us there.
• Took Andrew and Debbie to see Cirque Du Soleil's OVO show.  Fantastic night out except for the bucketing down rain :-(
• Mum moved in.
• Went to Tasmania for our 20th wedding anniversary with no kids and using the voucher I won. Awesome but tiring (not for the reason you think ... get your mind out of the gutter!)
• Had another Mother's Day celebration when we got back from Tassie.  Love, hugs and presents .. yay!
• My middle baby, Drew, turned 16.  He booked himself in for his learner's test and passed first time ... go Drew!!

June:

• Ate the first apple from the Pinkabelle tree.  
• Got a wild idea to rip my wedding dress apart and use (what I thought was a hug amount of) fabric for other purposes. (Didn't get very far with that .. there was nowhere near as much silk in the skirt as I thought there was ..oh well).  Made Brad pose for photos in the bodice of the dress, mean mummy that I am!
• Painted Drew's bedroom wall with "racing stripes".  He likes it even if no-one else does!!

July:

• Had to race Xena to the vet in the middle of the night once we worked out that she had eaten almost a whole box of dark chocolate.  Got home at 2am and had to go back to pick her up at 8am to avoid paying another day's worth of ICU charges.  
• Went to Sydney for a work trip ... on the same day that I had raced Xena to the vet.  Couldn't sleep on plane so had an early night when I got there.  Found out that the company hadn't paid for the accommodation in advance so got hit with a huge bill on check out.  Thank goodness for 'secret stash' money...
• Took another trip to Ikea and found some inspiration for what to do on the long wall in the family room.  Besta bookshelves are my new best friend ... I think.

August:

• Had a night at the shed, just Peter and I (despite vowing not to go .. a girl can change her mind!)
• Drew had his first official driving school driving lesson.
• Finally got floor coverings in the bedrooms .. spotted gum floorboards.

September:

• My first 'little baby', Alex turned 18 and somehow became 6'1" tall ... waaahhhh!!  j/k .. so proud of him for the hurdles he's overcome and the wonderful young man he is.  Love you son!
• Had a belated Father's Day (as it was on Alex's birthday .. how rude!)
• Drew bought his first car, a Longreach Falcon ute, which was brought home on the Sunday afternoon and then stolen in the early hours of the Thursday afternoon.  Fire brigade found it on fire and reported it to police.  By the time the Police got there, it had been stolen again and still hasn't been recovered.  Thank goodness for insurance!
• Did some more crafty/practical projects that I will slowly be updating over the next couple of weeks .. I promise!

October:

• Took a week off work during school holidays and spent some time with my growing-way-too-quick boys.
• Thought about going to the Perth Royal Show(for about an hour), regained my sanity and stayed home instead.  Saved amount of money equivalent to the GDP of a small African nation.

November:

• Drew got his official Certificate II in light automotive servicing ..well done!
• Took yet another trip to Ikea .. just because.
• Got the windows tinted in our bedroom, the home theatre (or as I call it, the lounge room), the family room and Alex's bedroom.  Makes a huge difference to the amount of heat coming in from outside.
• Peter bought a new bigger motorbike.  Continued to hassle me about getting my bike licence ...

December:

• Put up the tree with the boys with minimal grumbling (from me!)
• Drew picked up his new car .. 1999 Lantra with very low km's for it's age.
• Made three Pepparkaka Hus kits from Ikea (otherwise known as gingerbread houses for English speakers).  Used an entire year's worth of lollies and royal icing between the three .. yum!!
• Had Christmas breakfast at home, lunch at Mark and Bec's and home again for dinner.
• Quiet day at home on Boxing Day, then out for dinner with Nonnie and Clare down in Shoalwater.
• For Peter's 47th birthday my lovely boss let me take half a day off so we had lunch at Hog's Breath in Kelmscott, then home for presents.  Managed to surprise him with the Springsteen tickets I'd bought back in September as well as the usual littler presents from the boys.
• Quiet New Year's at home with the boys (Mum went out .. has a better social life then me!).  Managed to see in the New Year, then slept like a log until 9am.

So there you go, a whole year in a rather large nutshell.  Here's hoping I can get my shit together slightly more organised this year and manage to post some of the happenings as (or soon after) they happen.

 A girl's got to have dreams ... right? 

Where does he get this stuff from?

Overheard in the car this afternoon, whilst driving home from taking a look at the house:

Brad: Drew, you know how they say 'you are what you eat'?

Drew: Yes. What about it?

Brad: It's really strange isn't it?

Drew: What's strange about it?

Brad: I really don't remember eating a sexy beast!

I'm kinda dreading what he'll be like once the testosterone really kicks in!!

Be afraid! Be very afraid ...

because:

I am now officially licensed to drive a forklift.

I had to have a photo taken for the new licence which resembles one of the 'after' shots from those scare-people-off-Meth programs. Either that or a drunken mug shot. (No, I'm not going to post it here out of courtesy to your delicate monitors and eyes).

Alex has his learner's permit for a moped licence.

Andrew has asked for braces which means you guys will now get to listen to me whinge about how much it's going to cost for the next three years .. lucky you!

Bradley, despite not yet being a teenager, has a full blown teenage attitude and he's not afraid to use it!

I think I'm seeing things that aren't really there. For example, on Wednesday evening while driving home from work, I could swear I saw an oversized troll doll riding a bicycle along the footpath towards the train station. After looking at 'it' several more times (all while trying to keep driving in a straight line), I discovered it was a middle-aged woman with an over-abundance of very orange spray tan and hot pink, fluffy, standing-straight-up-in-the-air hair. To quote my Dad,

"The sights you see when you haven't got a gun!"

Now I know where Brad gets his warped sense of humour from ...

Well, actually I already knew but it was just confirmed once and for all.

Peter, Drew and I were sitting watching Better Homes and Gardens on Friday night when a segment came on about some flowers that look like carnations but aren't (some sort of relative to them though).

As the presenter was extolling the virtues of this plant with very pink flowers, Peter pipes up with "Did you know there's no such thing as a pink carnation?"

I was just about to reply with something along the lines of "Of course there is!" when Drew asked "Why?"

Peter's response?

"Because every nation has many different coloured cars."

Cue groans here!

A quick update ...

Wow, I hadn't realised just how long it's been since I was last here ... 9 weeks!!

As you may have gathered, I have been kind of busy and have been on auto pilot while I settle into some sort of routine with the new job, kids working, husband being away/home/away/home, household chores and all the other assorted things that we women/adults/parents have to deal with. This auto pilot mode has resulted in me basically cutting myself off from the rest of the outside world while I endeavour to find some balance, which I still haven't managed but I'm getting a bit closer.

The kids are being their usual selves .. mostly good with an occasional need for a 'come to Jesus' meeting. Alex and Drew are busy working and going to school while Brad is hanging out for the day when he can go to work as well. As I keep reminding him though, if he whinges about putting the groceries away, chances are he's not going to enjoy working much!

Andrew has decided that he doesn't much like this working thing. The money he likes; the actual work ... not so much! Apparently it's boring and it hurts his legs to have to walk around so much to which I replied that he needs to exercise more to increase his fitness/endurance levels. Should be interesting when he gets a 'real' (full-time) job where he has to do that all day, every day for the rest of his life ...

He has decided to hang in there until we move to the new house when he is determined to get a 'better' job at the Woolworths or Coles that are supposed to opening up out there. Personally, I can't see how it would be any different working in Woolworths supermarket versus a Foodworks supermarket but what would I know? It's not like I've ever worked in a supermarket ...

Alex is still big on procrastination and avoidance of things he finds distasteful ... like homework and housework. Strangely enough, he is quite happy to go to work and will take just about any extra shifts he's offered, but I suppose there is actual real money involved as opposed to some far off distant promise of improving his lot in life further down the track.

I am still concerned about what will happen with or to him once he is out in the real world after school due to his impulse control issues and lack of 'street smarts'. Last week, he and Andrew went to Gosnells after school on the bus (with my permission) and on their way back, Alex was baled up against the wall at the train station (where they were waiting for the bus) and punched several times by a complete stranger for seemingly no reason.

I was at work at the time and received a rather panicked phone call from Andrew telling me Alex was 'being beaten up'. I immediately left work to try and get to the train station to pick them up but they had managed to get away from the guy and get on the bus so I just met them at home. Alex was in total shock, crying and shaking and unable to talk about it. After calming him down a bit, I was able to get a few details out of him.

Apparently the guy approached him, grabbed his sleeve and said something about a smoke. (I'm assuming the guy was trying to 'bum a smoke'). Alex flung his arm out to try and shake the guy off, which the guy has probably interpreted as Alex taking a swing at him, and has then baled him up against the wall and punched him in the stomach a couple of times. During the course of this, Alex bumped his elbow on the edge of a sign and that was the injury he focused on .. for the next four days!

Luckily, there was no blood or lasting physical damage but I think the emotional scars will last a while. He is now extremely wary of anyone he doesn't know approaching him, especially if they are of a 'darker skin tone' than him. I tried explaining how he could have done things differently (which may or may not have changed the outcome) but I'm not sure how much of what I said has sunk in. The joys of being a parent ...

In a word ... OMG!

OK, so it's not actually a word, it's three letters .. picky picky! ... but those three letters describe my life perfectly at the moment. I've been so busy living life that I haven't had a chance (or the motivation) to write about it here.

The first big thing that happened during my little hiatus was Bradley turned twelve. His last year before the dreaded teenage attitude really kicks in! Just kidding ... he's a good kid (they all are though you'd never know it by the way I whinge about them all!) and I just hope he stays the lovable little pumpy-umpy-umpkins he is now!! Love you schnookums ... mwah!!!

The older boys finally got their first shift at work ... three hours of checkout training on a Saturday morning ... and have done many more shifts since then. They've each received their first pay and Alex has already spent most of his. Andrew wasn't sure how much he had been paid as he didn't get an email notification/payslip, so he decided to not spend anything until he could find that out. He's also hassling me to help him set up a savings account for his car .. yes you heard right .. a car. Glad one of the boys has a forward planning gene in there somewhere!

We've had Pre-Start for the new house!! We finally got our preliminary plans on the 24th February and got booked in for pre-start on Friday 4th March. It was a long day and we didn't get the pricing done then and there as there was only one estimator and three pre-start consultations happening at the same time. (The fact that we asked for prices on everything under the sun to be included may not have helped our cause!) It was a long weekend as well so we had to wait until the Tuesday to find out that we had majorly 'overspent'.

After sitting down with a red pen, we managed to reduce the pre-start spending from $35,000 down to $18,000 ($4000 was electrical changes and $6650 was to have the house smart wired) and have now officially signed the contract to build the new nest. All we're waiting on now is the final finance approval which should hopefully be through by the end of this week. Fingers crossed!!

I can't remember if I've mentioned before (and I'm too lazy today to go back and read through all my previous posts!) but I applied for a job at the end of January and was granted an initial interview on the Thursday 3rd of February. It was advertised as a 'Production Clerk' and the duties included data entry, stock control and other general office duties. It sounded perfect for me, is nice and close to the new house (and not too far from this one either) and I was still keen even after taking a tour of the dingy, dusty transportable building that would serve as my office and the equally dusty manufacturing plant attached to it.

I came away from the interview and subsequent tour of the office and plant feeling that I had interviewed well and feeling confident that I would pass though to the next level. I received a call on the Friday afternoon asking if I wanted to progress to the next stage but was having second thoughts about working full-time so I asked for the weekend to think it over.

On the Monday, I rang John (the plant manager) and let him know I was prepared (as prepared as I could be anyway) to go through. He arranged some psychometric and aptitude testing (apparently a standard thing for this company) on Wednesday 9th February at the head office in Caversham. I was told to allow 2 to 3 hours to complete the testing but was out of there in just over an hour and then sat back and waited for the results, which I was told would take about 48 hours to come back from Sydney.

And I waited.

And then I waited some more.

I finally gave in to the insecurities and phoned John on Wednesday 16th February to ask what was happening. Apparently he hadn't heard anything either and wasn't getting any response to his calls about it. Eventually, he rang (22/2) and explained that the person responsible for dealing with the reports had gone on holidays for a week and no-one thought to check her mail for anything urgent. Luckily the report was favourable so I went off for a medical on 24/2 (another standard thing for this company) and then waited for, what I thought would be, the inevitable job offer.

Another week passed and I still hadn't heard anything so gave up on stressing about it for a while and focused on pre-start and the new house instead. During our pre-start meeting, John rang to say that they would like to offer me the job but the contract had to be drawn up by the eastern states head office, so he would call me when it was available to be signed.

Yet another week passed and John rang to say that head office had finally signed off on the contract and he would drop it around to me on his way home from work on Friday night. Oh and could I please start Monday. I'm sure the Universe was working with me on this because I didn't get the request to start until we had finished pre-start and signed all the necessary documents.

Anyway, I have survived my first week of training and will be starting the company funded psycho-analysis sessions at my own job any day now. Pray for my sanity if you have a moment as I am the only woman on a site with 37 men most of whom, judging by the double takes when I worked there on Thursday, have never seen a woman in their workplace before and are all worried that they'll have to mind their P's and Q's. Can't wait to set them all straight!!

Don't you just hate it when your kids beat you at something?

To try and encourage me the boys and I to get jobs, Peter said to all three of us (Brad is still too young for a job) that he would give $100 to the first one of us to get a job and keep it for at least a week. Call it an incentive, a bribe or whatever you want; point is, it actually motivated the boys to put their resumes out in the big wide world. (Mine was already out there with not much luck.)

They put their resumes in at about ten places between the two of them and got a call for an interview each at the local little supermarket. Andrew's was last week on Thursday and even though he was really nervous, he went into the interview on his own and seemed to do quite well. He was in there for about 15 minutes and came out feeling rather pleased with how it all went.

Alex's interview was supposed to be on Friday but was re-scheduled to Monday and was all over and done with, with him back in the car ready to go home, in about 6 minutes. I was thinking that wasn't necessarily a good thing but kept my thoughts to myself at the time. Despite Alex being the older child by nearly two years, in some ways Andrew seems a bit more mature and I thought that may affect Alex's chances of getting a job seeing as they were supposed to be interviewed by the same person. Alex's interview ended up being conducted by a different person, which may account for the time difference as he wasn't given the interviewer's entire work history before proceeding to the questions about him.

I have to admit, I was rather concerned that there would be all sorts of problems if one got a job and the other didn't and had a little chat to each of them about that possibility. Luckily we don't have to worry about that as I have just received a call asking me to let them both know they have been "successful in their applications" and could they please call in ASAP to collect an employment package. Congratulations boys and welcome to the beginning of your working lives!

So it looks like I miss out on the $100 bribe incentive and as they both got offered a job at the same time, there is bound to be some discussion with Peter about who gets what. I'll leave that completely up to them to work out while I go and have some psychometric and aptitude testing for a job I've applied for.

Wonder if they'll pick up on the voices in my head?

Out of the mouths of babes ...

Being the ever-so-slightly OCD type that I am, I decided to use a colour coding system on the proliferation of boxes that have taken up residence in every room of the house.

I thought that by giving each room/area a colour and labelling the boxes filled with stuff from that room/area with aforementioned colours, it would make it heaps easier to deal with the chaos that is moving house. Having so much more 'stuff' than the last time we moved house was frightening me just a wee bit because I could envision many complaints of "I can't find my ..." and "Why has he got my stuff?"

I even made a pretty little chart with the colours and areas clearly labelled so when the removalists got to the new house with the boxes, they would be able to easily find which room to put each box into ... see:

I was feeling quite proud of myself for being pro-active instead of reactive for a change until Andrew asked the blindingly obvious question:

"Mum? What happens if the removalists are colour blind?"

I think I'm just going to go and cry in the corner now. Please call me if you find removalists who aren't colour blind ....

Some more show photos ...

Brad in his Viking helmet trying to avoid having a photo taken:

Ninja Brad:


Alex's remote control helicopter (purchased instead of a heap of show bags ..
his sugar rush could have been worse!!):



Amy in her funky new glasses and rasta hat (complete with dreadlocks):



Andrew going all rasta (and his shirt matches too!):

The boys have changed their names ...

They have all taken to calling everyone Captain something-or-other so now we have:

• Captain Buzzkill (Alex),
• Captain Obvious (either Drew or Brad) and
• Captain Awesome (either Drew or Brad again)

I have asked when the next round of promotions is due because I think Major Awesome and Major Pain-in-the-butt sound more impressive but I just got pitying looks and a slow, sad shake of the head.

Obviously I'm Captain Fail-to-get-the-point-of-this-game.

At least I made it to Captain!!

Andrew wants to die a slow painful death ...

or maybe that's just my interpretation of the way he keeps reminding me of my, in his opinion, extremely advanced age.

Example one:

"I'll help you set up your sewing machine Mum. I know how to thread them and everything."

"OK but be careful. My machine is a bit different from the ones at school."

"You're telling me! Wow, this thing is ancient! Does it plug in or do you have to pedal it?"


Example two:

"Mum, did you watch this program when you were my age?"

"No darling. It wasn't around then."

"Oh. What did you watch?"

"Whatever my parents wanted to watch because we only had one TV."

"Oh. Were you guys like poor or something?"

"No darling. We just had one lounge room and that's where the TV was."

"One lounge room and one TV? I'm so glad I didn't live in the olden days!"


Example three:

"Mum did you have electricity when you were little or did you have to use candles for lights and go to bed when it got dark?"

"Yes we had electricity and we only used candles when it wasn't working .. same as we do now."

"Wow! Electricity really has been around for a long time hasn't it?"


After delivering these little gems, he usually looks at me with an innocent face before registering my reaction, then running for the relative safety of his room before I come over all weak and decrepit and start demanding my dinner at 4 o'clock in the afternoon with "it had better be mushed up so my poor old teeth can take it sonny boy" added for good measure.

Now I know why my mother always looked so upset when I asked her about what type of dinosaur she rode to school.

Kids .. gotta love 'em (I think it's a law!)

Oh yay .. it's school holidays!

19 days of fun-filled, full-on, in-my-face time with the boys (I'll leave it up to you to determine whether I'm being sarcastic or not!) and it all started so well ...

I had, when in a state of mind most people call insanity, offered to have a friend's two boys over yesterday afternoon after work/school to entertain play with my three boys. Then a different friend rang and asked if I could have her daughter for the afternoon as she had an appointment. No worries said I breezily and made appropriate arrangements for food and drink, causing the lady behind me in the supermarket queue to ask if I was a scout leader or something. After assuring her that the quantity of snacks was only for six children, she launched into protracted praise of mothers with more than the standard 2.4 children and congratulated me on bucking the trend. It was quite sad to see her face when I informed her that only 3 of the children were mine and that the other 3 were 'blow-ins' for the day.

The mother of the two boys came and collected them at 5:30pm after only a few instances of raised voices and threats of bodily harm (which I stopped making when I realised the neighbours were listening!) and then settled in to enjoy a lovely chat with the second friend (we'll call her Debbie .. Hi Deb!) over an extremely healthy dinner.

During the afternoon/evening, there had been some conspiring amongst the children and after some cute puppy-dog-eye looks, Andrew ended up spending the night at Debbie's house. I arranged to collect him at around 9:30am and went off to bed at a relatively decent hour for a great night's sleep and sleep-in the next morning.

After a bit of a mad panic to get out of my clown pants pyjamas, I went on my way to collect Drew, leaving the other two at home with strict instructions to stack the dishwasher before I returned, knowing full well that it would probably still be sitting there emptier than my bank account at Christmas time when I finally deigned to re-appear. A girl has to have dreams, right?

Anyway, I collected Andrew and headed to Kmart to attempt to lay-by some items for Christmas (mission accomplished), checked out the clothes sale at Miller's (nothing caught my eye enough to make me buy it) and then headed for home to make the children work spend some quality time with the children outside in the backyard.

Alex managed to start the lawnmower and mow the lawn; Bradley and I swept the patio area and got rid of some things things that had just been hanging around and Andrew pulled some weeds and helped Alex with the emptying of the lawnmower catcher. Very productive effort with a lovely result .. the patio and backyard look much better. Everyone worked well together with very few arguments discussions as to the merits of particular methodologies.

After finishing up, I told the boys the rest of the afternoon was theirs and set them free. Of course they all immediately headed back inside (I think I'm raising vampires!) and to the comfort of their electronic entertainment.

Things then took a turn for the worse when Alex tripped over his laptop computer, which was on the floor in the TV room after being told repeatedly not to leave it there, and has now broken it beyond any sense of redemption I could offer. The only thing that would have kept him away from his brothers, yet still occupied, has now gone to laptop heaven.

He has spent the last half an hour crying and throwing himself very dramatically onto his bed (silent movie heroines have nothing on this kid and his over acting abilities!) but is now laughing maniacally at something his brothers are doing .. one extreme to the other in ten seconds flat .. welcome to my world!

So now, as I sit here listening to the replacement washing machine trying to remodel my house by knocking out a few walls, I am in a bit of a quandary:

Do I attempt to have his laptop fixed to save my sanity over the next 18 days or do I let him suffer this natural consequence?

Do I spend money on getting the laptop fixed or on Valium and other sedatives to get us all through the next 18 days?

Or do I just give up and go chocolate myself to death?

Hmmmmm? Which option people? Let me know what you think ... please??!!

And then there were two ...

... teenagers in the house!

Happy Birthday Drew!! (or do I have to start calling you Andy like everyone else does now that you're a teenager?)

It's another case of 'where has the time gone?' It seems like only yesterday .. OK maybe last week .. that he looked like this:

and now he looks like this: (protecting his birthday cake from everyone!)

At least he still wants to receive hugs from his dear old mum!

When he was asked what he would like for his birthday dinner, he very seriously replied that he would like to continue the 'tradition' of going to Sizzler with the extended family ... a 'tradition' that was started with Alex but I suppose they all have to start somewhere! Then he asked Peter "seeing as it's my birthday, can we take the (motor)bike to dinner?" After establishing that he didn't actually want to take it inside the restaurant for a meal "duh Mum!", we agreed that he could ride there with Peter but had to come home in the car with me. I also had to continue the tradition by making a cake and decorating it with a number 13 done in rainbow style with mini M&M's. Ta-dah ... the finished product:

We managed to get just about all the extended family together for dinner and all had a great time especially when it came to singing happy birthday... it's been a while since I saw him that embarrassed! After eating some cake and dessert .. hey it was a birthday party! .. we headed outside for a photo and then I made the executive decision that he could ride home on the bike too.

We're going to let him stay home from school tomorrow for a day out with Mum and Dad (another part of the tradition) and hopefully get him a decent watch that he can keep.

All in all, I'm very proud of the young man he's becoming (even with the occasional bit of attitude!) and hope that he continues to be true to himself. Love you Drew!!

Recent conversations ...

Me: Good afternoon! How was your day?
Brad: Aren't you going to ask me if I learned anything today?
Me: In a minute. How was your day?
Brad: Educational.
Me: That sounds interesting. What did you learn today?
Brad: That it hurts when a basketball hits you in the face.
Me: Ouch! You OK?
Brad: Yep. Just missing a few more brain cells. I'll be fine ... eventually!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Andrew: Hey Mum!

Me: Yes Drew?

Andrew: Prepare yourself!

Me: Sounds ominous! What for?

Andrew: (jumping around the corner in the hallway dressed only in undies)

For the adventures of Nearly-Nude Man! (strikes superhero pose)

Me: (laughing) Who?

Andrew: Nearly-Nude Man! Ta-dah!!

Me: Well, Nearly-Nude Man needs to change back into the mild-mannered Andrew, and some clothes, before his arch enemy the Tickle Monster finds him!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On that note though, I suppose it would make more sense to be a superhero dressed only in undies:

• no cape to get caught in things.
• very easy to change into your crime-fighting outfit.
• no expensive costume to keep replacing because some super-villain managed to damage it.
• no agonising over the colours and/or symbols to go on the costume in the first place.
• very easy to get back into your mild-mannered persona's clothes (provided you can remember where you left them!)

On the down side:

• it would be rather embarrassing if you were going commando and forgot.
• it was washing day and you were wearing your 'only-in-case-of-laundry-emergency' undies.
• having to have lots of the same type and colour of undies so people recognised you as a superhero and not as some weirdo running around in their underwear.
• it could be rather cold which, in the case of male superheroes, could result in shrinkage and diminishing your 'image' in the eyes of your fans.

What do you think?

Ella sketch #3

I'm loving the six weeks of sketches over at Ella as they seem to have revived my motivation and are giving me inspiration at the same time.

I did sketch #3 almost as soon as it was posted but forgot to take a picture and post it here .. oops! So without any further ado, here is my interpretation:




I rotated it, mirrored it and changed the photo sizes a bit (and now it probably looks nothing like the original sketch!) but I like it! Wouldn't have a clue which papers are which because I don't keep track of all that .. sorry!

I also did this layout of Andrew:



It's very linear and started out based on one of Donna Januzzi's sketches in her "Stretch Your Sketches" e-book (Ella Publishing) but as is typical with sketches, it ended up looking nothing like the original! I'm still trying to decide if I'll cut the striped paper to the width of the blue as there's something bugging me about it. What do you think?

Journalling reads:
The first thing most people see when they look at these photos is the lovely mess you have made of yourself with your current favourite biscuit, the humble ginger nut.
Not me. All I see are the gorgeous chubby cheeks, cute little button nose, the happy smile underneath all that mess and your eyes... those beautiful blue eyes.
I really hope you get to keep those lovely baby blues but I doubt you will, so I'll just enjoy them for now and look forward to watching them change as you grow. (Feb '98)

They're baaack ...

... at school that is!

This morning was the first time in a long time that I have seen Alex happy to be going to school. He was up at 6am, ready by 6:40am (we don't actually leave home until 8am!) and was off like a shot as soon as I allowed him to get out of the car in the car park. I hope this is a sign of a good year to come!

Andrew was a bit nervous with it being his first official day of high school (because apparently last year wasn't really like high school because he had the same teacher for the four core subjects and only had other teachers for everything else .. "Jeez Mum. Don't you know anything?" insert eye roll as only a teenager can here). Alex actually realised that Drew was a bit concerned and offered to take him on a tour of the school to help him find the right classrooms once they get their timetables. Thank you Alex, for helping to de-stress my little stress head.

Bradley was very concerned that he was going to have the same teacher as last year, but luckily he doesn't. The look of relief on his face once he realised that he didn't have Mr C and that he was still in the same class as his best friend, was absolutely priceless. I'm surprised no-one reported his sigh of relief as a mini tornado!

I hope all your little and not-so-little ones have a great time at school and that there are few, if any, tears. If there are, remember that it's hard to tell the kids not to sniff and wipe their noses on their sleeves if they see you doing it, so pack some tissues for a cry in the car on the way home.

Anyway, it is very quiet around here and I have some time all to myself, so now I just have to remember what to do with it ... and if anyone says laundry, I'm going to curl up in the corner, in the foetal position of course, and just quietly melt down!!


Well, maybe not quietly ..


OK, OK, definitely not quietly!


Some things never change, do they?

Overheard this morning ...

Andrew: "Let's call it the duh syndrome. Main symptom is stating the blindingly obvious. Sufferers shall be known as Captain Obvious."

Bradley: (to his friend Matt who was trying to play the drums in guitar hero) "Orange, orange, orange, orange, orange .. jeez, the drummer must get bored playing this in real life!"

Andrew: "Quick .. kill the enemy."
Chris: "That's boring. I'll annihilate them instead."

Ella sketch #2

Seeing as the roll I was on on Friday came to a screaming halt yesterday, I decided to leave well enough alone and try again today instead. It worked! Here's two more layouts of mine and one of Andrew's. Remember that Andrew is a 12-year-old boy so of course the pictures have something machinery related in them!

(I'm going to apologise in advance for the terrible picture quality. I have problems photographing layouts under good conditions, so late at night under artificial light doesn't translate into great photos!)

Both of these are based on Ella's sketch #2.

Andrew's layout:

and my interpretation of the sketch:

and here's the one that I gave up on yesterday.

(Again, apologies for the photo.

I have taken about 15 different shots and this, believe it or not, was the best.)

Recent conversations ...

Me: Andrew, could you please get the plates out ready for me to serve up dinner?

Andrew: It's already done.

Me: Gee, you're organised today.

Andrew: Of course I'm organised. I'm a legend in the kitchen.

Me: What about me? Am I a legend in the kitchen too?

Andrew: Nope. Just me.

slight pause...

Andrew: You're a legend everywhere else ... as well as in the kitchen.

Me: Nice save son!

Andrew: I've had twelve years of practise so I'm finally getting the hang of it!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alex: Mum, I have an upset stomach so can I stay home from school today?

Me: Only if you think you're really unwell and not just faking it.

Alex: (goes into graphic detail of toilet habits and various other TMI-type things that I won't put here .. you're welcome!)

Me: (gagging) OK, you can stay home but I have things to do so you can help me in between toilet visits.

Alex: Thanks Mum. Sorry for any inconvenience this has caused you.

Andrew: (giggling) That sounds like one of those announcements you hear at the shops .. you know .. "Attention please customers: your life will suck from now on .. sorry for any inconvenience".

Computers suck!

Not the one I'm on, obviously, but only because this one has deigned to allow me to access the internet and sign in to whinge post an update on my dreary life.

My desktop computer is deader than a doornail, courtesy of Alex's 'help' in downloading updates I didn't want or need, and the other computers in the house will let me on the internet but have major issues with letting me sign in to anything. It's like having a personal version of Net Nanny that follows you wherever you go .. and it's starting to creep me out just a bit. Are they all talking to each other after I go to bed to decide what I'm allowed to view or is this just in retaliation for the death of their much loved brother, who is now patiently waiting to go to the giant scrapheap in the sky? (Though I suppose when you're dead, there's no such thing as waiting patiently, is there?)

My hatred of all things computeresque was cemented today when I made a special trip into the city on the train, for the express purpose of getting a certified official copy of my marriage certificate so I can get a passport (which is a whole other story for later).

I rang the Department of births, deaths and marriages yesterday to find out the quickest way to obtain said certified copy and was told to come in to the city office where they could print one while I waited. I then enquired as to payment methods and was assured that, unlike most other government departments, they had eftpos so I wouldn't have to make a special trip to the bank to get cash.

So this morning after dropping the children at school, I went to collect my new glasses, caught up with a couple of friends from work for a quick coffee and then headed for the train station. I had decided to catch the train because the car I am currently driving has roof clearance issues in city carparks and I have issues with paying for parking in the city. I didn't really feel like leaving body parts behind as payment because they will never accept the body parts I want to leave. They always want useful things like an arm and a leg as opposed to a huge pile of shiny white backside or post-baby belly .. spoilsports!

The last time I went to the train station, the parking was plentiful and free. Not any more .. every man and his grandma had parked their car there today and it's now a flat rate $2 which would have been fine if I'd had 20 cents more in my purse. The machine wouldn't allow me to get a ticket with $1.80 and didn't accept the $5 note I had, the shop on the station wouldn't give out change or put through eftpos transactions under $15, so I took a chance and left the car there without a ticket, despite the signs up everywhere saying that the carpark was patrolled every 15 minutes and cars without tickets would be fined. Not wanting to risk a fine for travelling on the train without a ticket, I manged to find a ticket machine that accepted notes and then just made it on to the train.

I selected a seat and had settled in to read the book I had brought with me when a man sat down right next to me, despite having almost every other seat in the carriage to choose from. He was having a lovely conversation with someone which was great for him, but rather unsettling for the rest of us in the carriage as we couldn't see who he was talking to. I was hoping it was the hygiene fairy giving him some pointers on deodorant, toothpaste and soap, but unfortunately I think it must have been the anarchy fairy because he kept ranting about how it wasn't fair that governments got to spend everyone else's money and by the way did I have any money I could give him because the government took all of his. I refrained myself from asking who did the twenty dollar notes sticking out of his pocket belong to as I was afraid the answer would involve a complicated story, complete with actions that would have involved lifting his arms. Luckily it was only a 24 minute train ride or I think I would have passed out from the fumes, both bodily and alcohol!

After a few trips up and down the main street of the city, where it was blowing an absolute gale, raining and freezing cold, I finally found the entrance to the building hidden behind some scaffolding and machinery. After working my way through the building mess while trying to not get in the way of all the obviously-I'm-more-important-than-you-because-I-have-a-job-in-the-city people, I managed to find the lifts and made my way up to the tenth floor. (I'm sure I was never that rude to people when I worked in the city .. you know 'cos I'm perfect and everything!)

I filled out the necessary paperwork, stood in the queue for half my lifetime 40 minutes surrounded by cranky people on their lunch breaks, only to find out that their computer system had crashed right before I reached the window. The lady behind the window of doom offered to post it out to me but I would have to pay for it in advance.

No problem says I and produced my eftpos card.

Sorry, can't take eftpos because the computer system is down.

Fine says I, through gritted teeth. What about credit card then?

Sorry can't take that because the computer system is down.

What can you take then? (with much wailing and gnashing of teeth).

Cash only and it has to be the right money because I can't give you any change because the drawer is locked because .. (wait for it) .. the computer is down.

Thanks anyway. I'll have to come back another time.

Then she says, you do realise that you can go to your local courthouse (which is ten minutes from the boys' school) and do this there.

My facial expression must have been an interesting sight to behold and I'm sure she had her finger poised over the raving lunatic button ready to press it at the first sign of total meltdown. Luckily for the men in the little white coats, I composed myself and left quietly.

I had an uneventful trip on the train back to the car, only to have the skies open over my head as I stepped out of the station. Dreading returning to the car and finding a ticket, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that something went right and I hadn't copped a fine. After profusely thanking the parking gods for not inflicting more misery, I headed for home and some quiet time before picking the boys up from school.

You know how you say to yourself, I'll just close my eyes for five minutes and then I'll ... ? That's what I did, but it wasn't for five minutes .. more like an hour! Luckily my phone alarm went off or the boys would probably still be sitting at school wondering where their delinquent mother has got to this time.

All in all, not a very productive day but at least I have my new glasses which according to Brad and Drew, are really funky and would go really well with my hippie shirt. I can't work out if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

I'll let you know when I work it out.