Sunday, 29 March 2009

What to do? Oh what to do?

I went into my old work on Friday to do some early Easter shopping and say hi to a few people, and was immediately accosted by many requests of "Please come back. We need you!" So many in fact that I started seriously considering it and am now in two minds about it. I was also offered a two-days-a-week position in the book section, working for a manager who appreciates his staff and stands up for them.

On the one hand,
  • I enjoyed the sales office job (just enough brain power required without overloading the circuits).
  • I liked most of the people there and could tolerate the rest without too much angst (most of the time anyway).
  • I really liked feeling useful and capable.
  • I don't like being at home all the time because I start to go stir crazy and get depressed (I can feel myself sliding already!)
  • Working in a different area of the store would mean getting away from the micromanaging cow.
  • Doing something completely new that makes use of my OCD 'skills'.
  • They still haven't found anyone to replace me on a permanent basis so technically the sales office job is still open.

On the other hand,

  • I don't know if they're just asking me to come back because they think it's what I want to hear or if they really want me back.
  • The main person I don't like dealing with is still there, still putting her nose into everyone else's business and isn't likely to leave.
  • Whether they would take me back into the sales office seeing as they didn't seem all that put out when I resigned.
  • Whether they would take me back with the expectation that I would just pick up the slack in the sales office at the expense of my own (new) job in books.
  • Whether they would take me back at all or if I have well and truly burned my bridges.

I keep thinking that if they had offered me holidays when I handed in my resignation, I would have taken them and then gone back to work five days a week. I would have preferred four or even three days a week but I would have gone back and kept pushing for a job share position.

I can't figure out if I want to go back now because 'it's the better the devil you know' or because I am scared I'm not going to find anything else, especially the way the economy and job market are right now. To be perfectly honest, I haven't looked all that hard for a new job yet and the idea of starting all over again does scare the bejesus out of me. (On another note, does anyone know what 'the bejesus' is?) Even though I apparently radiate an air of confidence in work situations, it's all fake! I'm really trembling on the inside, absolutely terrified I'm going to get something wrong or found out to be a fake and that I shouldn't really be there.

I've spoken to Peter and he's OK either way but is leaning towards finding something completely new. Debbie thinks I should go for something new and not get sucked back into the black hole of Canning Vale. The boys don't really care as long they can keep going to the school they're currently in. Any other thoughts and opinions gratefully considered!

1 comment:

Kaye said...

I had to look up "bejesus" after reading your post. It's a word that I use, but had no idea where it came from. Apparently it comes from "by Jesus" and is just a mild swear, like "crap."

As far as the work thing, I don't know what to tell you, but I like being home, so what do I know? LOL