Monday, 30 November 2009

Just when I started to feel motivated ...

... things go wrong!

I just got up from my scrap/craft table where I have been trying to make the menu for Clare's wedding reception look pretty, to go and do some laundry, the dishes in the kitchen and mop the floor, only to find out that I have no water. After ascertaining that I had paid the water bill, the water meter is intact and turned on and that there wasn't a flood somewhere in or around the house, I rang the Water Corp to find out what's going on.

Apparently there's a burst water main outside the house six houses up the road from me and, according to the lovely young lady on the phone, there's an emergency repair crew there fixing it at the moment and it should be back on in about three hours. Unfortunately, I think her magic computer is lying to her. There is no repair crew there and, surprisingly enough, there isn't copious amounts of water leaking everywhere, unless it's under the road, which given the amount of potholes that have been appearing lately, is quite likely.

I've decided that I'm going to interpret this as having been given permission by the Universe to ignore the housework and go to the scrapbook shop down the road to buy some more paper to prettify the menu and seating plan.

Or to ignore the housework and read a book.

Or to ignore the housework and have a nap.

Or to ignore the housework and have lunch.

Or to ignore the housework and put the Christmas tree up.

Or to ignore the housework and ...

just ignore the housework all together. Yeah that's the one...

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

You know you live with a house full of boys when ...

  • there are more items of clothing on the floor in their rooms than in their wardrobes.
  • you are the only one who seems to think this a problem.
  • you find yourself doing the 'sniff test' on clothing you find around the house.
  • you use almost an entire container of spak-filla patching all the dents and dings in the walls of only one room!
  • you buy clothing, manchester, furniture and paint based on whether the colour of said item will show food and/or bloodstains.
  • despite spending over $300 on groceries, there's "nothing in the house to eat."
  • they yell at you "where's my (insert item here)" and then yell "it's not there. I already looked" only to mumble a very sheepish "Thanks Mum" when you walk in and take said item off the shelf where you said it was, which happens to be right in front of their face, and then hand it to them.
  • you turn the TV up to drown out the sounds of "Kill him!" coming from the other room.
  • despite having an entire wardrobe full of clothes to choose from, they wear the same three items over and over again until said items come crawling down the hallway to find you, begging to be washed.
  • you realise that you understand a foreign language ... 'grunt'.
  • you're told someone is hurt and your response is "No bones or blood? Still breathing and conscious? Yes? Then I'm not interested!"
  • you burp and say "better out than in" instead of "pardon me".
  • food stains are considered part of the pattern on the shirt and not as something to be removed.
  • you have to remind them that deodorant, soap and toothpaste are there for them to use more than once a week and aren't just decorations in the bathroom.
  • despite having been in the shower for over ten minutes, they still come out with dirty hands, feet and hair.
  • they start coming up with alternative uses for your kitchen utensils. Did you know that a pasta server makes a good back scratcher?
  • topics you would be uncomfortable discussing with your doctor become standard dinner table conversation.
  • you realise that dyslaundria and fridge blindness are real!

And yet, despite all of this, all they have to do is give me a hug and all is forgiven.

Well, almost all...

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

Recent conversations ...

Me: Andrew, could you please get the plates out ready for me to serve up dinner?

Andrew: It's already done.

Me: Gee, you're organised today.

Andrew: Of course I'm organised. I'm a legend in the kitchen.

Me: What about me? Am I a legend in the kitchen too?

Andrew: Nope. Just me.

slight pause...

Andrew: You're a legend everywhere else ... as well as in the kitchen.

Me: Nice save son!

Andrew: I've had twelve years of practise so I'm finally getting the hang of it!!


Alex: Mum, I have an upset stomach so can I stay home from school today?

Me: Only if you think you're really unwell and not just faking it.

Alex: (goes into graphic detail of toilet habits and various other TMI-type things that I won't put here .. you're welcome!)

Me: (gagging) OK, you can stay home but I have things to do so you can help me in between toilet visits.

Alex: Thanks Mum. Sorry for any inconvenience this has caused you.

Andrew: (giggling) That sounds like one of those announcements you hear at the shops .. you know .. "Attention please customers: your life will suck from now on .. sorry for any inconvenience".

Saturday, 7 November 2009

Busy little bees ...

... and I mean literally!

This is the 'really big black bug' that was in Brad's room buzzing at him when we came home from Bali. Mum had checked on the house two days prior and there was no sign of it then so they really were busy little bees to have created this in so short a time.

I let him sleep in my bed with me for the night on Thursday and tried to get an exterminator to come and deal with it on the Friday. After leaving a message with each of four different companies (that I still haven't heard back from over a week later .. 24 hour/7 day callout my backside!!), I let him sleep with me again on Friday night and, after another night of little sleep due to 'someone' hogging all the covers and most of the bed, resolved to ring a new lot of pest people on Saturday.
I managed to speak to a real person at Allpest Services on Saturday and was assured someone would be out sometime that day. Upon asking whether they could narrow the time frame just a little, for example to morning or afternoon, I was informed someone would ring me back within ten minutes to try to do so. Now I know you're probably expecting me to tell you how I'm still waiting for that call but I'm not because ...
... gasp ...
... they rang back in only five minutes! And they had narrowed the time frame to 2 hours!
I'll just wait for you to all pick yourselves up off the floor before I continue ...
Ready yet?
How about now? No?
Still waiting for the shock of a tradesperson actually calling back to wear off? Don't hold your breath because I'm still waiting for that to happen and it's been over a week!
Anyway, the young guy who turned up to do the job was on time, didn't smell or have a bad attitude, was very pleasant (both in personality and to look at!) and got straight to it. I took him down to Brad's room to show him the invaders and was assured that it would be no problem. His little remark on the end of that was "I don't normally do bee jobs but I was the closest so I said I'd pop past."
Of course, I had to enquire why he didn't usually do bee jobs; was he scared of them or something? His response was "Not so much scared. More that I'm allergic to them."
Thinking he was joking, I laughed and then seeing his perfectly serious face was compelled to ask why on earth he had a job as a pest exterminator if he was allergic to some of them? Apparently he likes the job and it pays well, so he just carries his Epi-pen everywhere with him and has wonderful fun killing them all.
After that little nugget of wisdom, I decided to keep a close eye on him, purely for safety's sake of course, and managed to get this picture of him in full work gear taking care of the little problem.

So thanks to the allergic bug men of the world (or this part of it at least!), the 'big black buzzing bug' is gone and Bradley is back sleeping in his own bed again.