It just keeps getting weirder around here ...

My Mum just went and got her phone so she could ring one of the boys at the other end of the house.

The really weird thing is that she didn't want to talk Drew herself .. she wanted to let Brutus tell Drew that he was hungry and wanted his dinner!

Basically she just made a mobile to mobile phone call so the dog could bark down the phone ...

... (whispering) save me ... save me now!

Another pinterest inspired item - lead hangers

... as in somewhere to hang the dogs' leads.

I found this picture about 100 years ago and had filed it away for a must-do project:

original pin:  thesaturdaymorningsblog.com/

I even searched Spotlight and a few other shops for these large papier mache type letters, all to no avail.  I could get thin wooden ones (barely thick enough for a nail, let alone a cup hook) or small papier mache ones, but nothing as big as you see above.  So I filed the idea away and focused on moving into this house (yes it was that long ago!)

Upon unpacking boxes (ahem .. 12 months after moving into the 'new' house), I came across a whole lot of picture frames I had accumulated from my time working at Rabbit Photo.  I was going to pass them on to the Salvos as they didn't fit with the 'look' I wanted for this house when I realised that they were actually quite thick and real wood.  Thick enough to screw in some cup hooks and real-wood-enough to last for a while ...

So I took the glass out and sprayed the kind-of-oak-coloured frames with some spare gloss black paint and, while they were drying, set myself to the task of individualising them.

Despite my handy (huge) stash of scrapping paper, I couldn't find a single paper I liked enough to put in the frames, so I just had to go to Scrapbooking Secrets in Maddington to find some inspiration.  I was looking for something with paw prints on it but couldn't find a single piece of paper with paw prints ... oh the horror!!

I did, however, find some paper that looked like an old wooden fence so that got the brain ticking over ... maybe I could put a picture of each dog on a faux backyard in the frames.  Bought the fence paper, came home and spent hours searching for just the right photo of each dog, once again to no avail.

At this point, the males of the household were whining about something to do with there being no food and being absolutely staaaaarving so I left the craft room in disgust (both at myself and them for not being able to make themselves a sandwich or something) and went to cook dinner.

When I came back after threatening them all with dismemberment if they didn't do the dishes right now a lovely peaceful family dinner, I decided to use my craft room's white elephant:  my Cricut.  I have the ZooBalloo cartridge and after playing around for a while, came up with these:

Xena's ... obviously!

Can you guess who this is for???

And this is both of them hanging in a silly little space between two door frames in the entry:

I ended up fitting two hooks to each frame; one for the harness and one for the lead/leash.  It is just so much easier than trying to dig through everything that gets dumped in the storeroom (to the left of the frames) to try and find their harnesses and leads.  It has made it easier for the dogs too ... all they have to do is bark then go sit in the entry looking up at the frames to give us the idea that it might be time to go for a W.A.L.K. (or as it is referred to in our house, "an ambulate around the perimeter of the neighbourhood" as the dogs have cottoned on to the word 'walk' and even the spelling of it!)

The frames/holders have been hanging up for over a year now and still look good.  The gloss paint stands up to any inadvertent bumps/scratches and the cup hooks haven't needed to be replaced.  The only issue is that the hooks need to be turned to one side or the other as they make the frame sit too far out from the wall if they are straight but I have (finally) learned to live with that part.

Not bad for the price of a couple of bits of scrapbooking paper (I had everything else in the house/garage).

Do you think he's trying to tell me I spend too much time on the computer?

"Please pay me some attention .. I'm begging here!"

Or is he trying to help me type?

"No silly. That's not how you spell hamburger!"

Or is he just hungry?

"You're just not getting it are you? Feed me ... please?!"

Can't decide.

I still think he's trying to tell me something.

Please let me know if you work it out ....

Our new addition ...

Her name is Bob (short for bobtail) and she lives at the shed. At least I think it's a she and from her habit of crawling inside out of the sun, I'd say she's related to me! She was just there one time when Peter went to the shed on his way back up to work. He said he was a bit startled when he noticed a plastic bag moving along the floor so he went to investigate and found Bob. He released her from the bag and she has lived there ever since.


She loves banana, eggs and the occasional insect and so far has been very little trouble at all apart from hissing at Peter the first few times they met ... so definitely related to me then!! We fed her some banana last time we were up at the shed and then the boys tried to get her to go outside. She walked about 15 metres along the shed wall then turned around and came back inside to the cooler air. A woman after my own heart! Here's a picture of her and her beautifully coloured tongue trying to eat some banana:

And here's a picture that Bradley took of her skin (on my dining table ... eeww!!) that she very kindly left out in the middle of the floor for Peter to find:

Brad loved the fact that it is almost complete and that even the legs have turned inside out. If you look closely, you can even see the little holes where the claws were. Now he wants to keep the skin but won't keep it in his room .. oh no .. it has to stay out on my bookshelf where I keep seeing it out of the corner of my eye thinking it's some creepy crawly invader come to frighten the daylights out of me and doing a very good job of it. It may just have to disappear one day when no-one is looking ....

"Would Sir care to see the menu?"

I asked Bradley to bring me a glass of water this morning and once he had brought it down to me, he turned to Brutus, who was laying on the floor next to my chair, and said "Would Sir care for food or a beverage?"

I replied with "Sir needs to see the menu first" and this is what happened next ...

He made a menu, got a red teatowel to drape over his arm

(because a red one matched the rest of his outfit and the menu)

and presented it to Brutus.

"Would Sir care to see the menu?"

"Ah yes, the chicken and pollock treat. Very fine choice Sir. It will be here momentarily."

I really love having a child with a good imagination and a sense of humour!

Brutus

Here's some photos of Brutus on the way to a hopefully full recovery.

In the ICU at Murdoch Veterinary Hospital.

Resting at home. Love the different coloured feet and the funky haircut!

In his new home, for the next 6 weeks at least!

First time Peter had seen him since the accident.

Brutus got quite comfortable, even though it doesn't look like it!

Good news!

Apart from being understandably stiff and sore, Brutus is doing really well. He had surgery today to fix his dislocated hip and they've said he should be able to come home either tomorrow or Friday.

We have a long road to recovery ahead of us but he will recover and will get back to the way he was before ... hopefully slightly less pyscho! I just have to try to keep him quiet and relatively still for the next 6-8 weeks to allow the pelvic fractures to heal ... no mean feat! At least he won't feel like jumping around all over the place for a while yet .. poor thing!

Thanks for all the good thoughts and wishes sent our way. I know to some people he's only a dog, but he's a member of our family and we're all overjoyed that he's still here with us.

Update on Brutus...

Whatever you guys did, it seems to be working!!

Even though his dislocated hip wouldn't go back in today, everything else is improving.

He will have to have an operation to fix the hip back into place (does anyone have oodles of money to spare?) and will need to have 'cage confinement' treatment for 6 weeks or so to allow his pelvic fractures to heal but the internal bleeding is almost non-existent and the collapsed lung is slowly fixing itself.

Thanks for all the thoughts, prayers and/or crossed fingers but please keep them coming .. we still have to get through the operation (either tomorrow or Wednesday).

Please send good thoughts and prayers our way...

Sorry to put a downer on people's festive celebrations, but our dog Brutus was hit by a car last night and it isn't looking too good for him at the moment.

He has multiple fractures of the pelvis, a dislocated hip and internal bleeding so any good thoughts, prayers or crossed fingers sent our way would be mightily appreciated right about now. Some thoughts and prayers for the poor couple that hit him would also be good as they are absolutely devastated.

I'll keep you updated.

Oh so true!!

see more Funny Graphs

Today ..

.. I have achieved the following:

• restrained myself from killing Alex 10 times (that's an improvement on the 23 times of yesterday!)
• paid 9 bills (and we all know that there will be at least 9 more by the end of next week!)
• listened to the dog bark at the birds in the trees out the back 8 times (I'm sure the neighbours are going to either report him to the council or try to kill him soon.)
• told Bradley to clean up his room 7 times (and then gave up!)
• done 6 loads of washing (most of it from the floor in Bradley's room.)
• vacuumed mulch off my carpet 5 times (damn dog thinks that the big bits of decomposing garden mulch are the best thing to chew inside. Apparently it's not as much fun to chew them outside!)
• done 4 lots of dishes (how is that possible when we haven't even had dinner yet?)
• tried to scrap 3 times (but didn't succeed at all. Mojo? Whatever I did, I'm sorry! Please come home ... please?)
• Read 2 books (you know you're getting desperate for something to read when you raid the kids' library bags!)
• Fell asleep in my lounge chair (my 'throne') 1 time (and woke to find one of my lovely children, Drew, had covered me with a doona so I "wouldn't get too cold to make dinner"!)

What did you get up to today?

Welcome to our new Country Estate ..

.. otherwise known as 'How's the serenity?' (Which movie is that from .. anyone?)

Despite the current economic downturn, we have decided to mortgage ourselves to the hilt (NOT!) to be able to purchase this 'massive' property with many, many features. So many features, in fact, I had to label the photographs just so you wouldn't get confused.

Now for those of you who are not familiar with the metric measurement system, 1 hectare or 10,000 sqm, is roughly equal to 2.5 acres. Therefore class, 1.4492 hectares is roughly equal to 3.6 acres. Thus endeth the maths lesson for today because now my head hurts!

I realise that many of you would not think that this is 'massive' , but considering that it is 14.5 times the size of our suburban block and roughly 25-30 times the size of current blocks for sale, I feel it is massive enough for a country retreat/doghouse for Peter/place to bury the children when they misbehave.

Seriously though, it is a great compromise between moving to the country and staying here. I get to live here and holiday there and Peter has some red dirt he can call his own. When you also consider that Peter was looking at blocks in excess of 150 acres, while I was looking at downsizing the one we have in Perth, this compromise is looking even better.

It's only 2.5 hours drive from home on good roads .. no off-roading required .. and is a dry block with no swampy bits. We will be building a 'shack' on it with all the mod cons .. running water, plumbing, some form of electricity .. and will probably use it every second time Pete is home. (That part is still under negotiation .. lol!)

We took the dog with us when we went up to look at the block last weekend and he was as happy as a pig in mud .. of which there wasn't any .. mud, that is .. luckily for Pete. This is him fast asleep on the backseat of the car on the way home ...

Tres elegant, puppy! Wonder if he's dreaming about all those rabbits he could smell?

Case for the prosecution ...

Your Honour,

In the case of Donna Hawkins V Brutus (hereafter known as 'The Toilet Paper Bandit') and 'The Children', I will endeavour to show just cause for re-training 'The Children' to keep the toilet door locked, or at least closed, at all times.

Exhibit A:
A photograph of the accused, 'The Toilet Paper Bandit'.

I realise the accused looks like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth and he is, in fact, rather cute and fluffy, but appearances can be deceiving.

Exhibit B:
Evidence photograph of the first occurrence of toilet paper thievery and destruction.

This was a new thing and the plaintiff, Donna Hawkins, was sure the accused would soon realise the error of his ways and reform himself into a house-rule-abiding puppy. Unfortunately this was soon followed by attempted clothing theft (Exhibit C)

and topped off with making-himself-comfortable-on-the-furniture (Exhibit D).

Exhibits E & F:
Evidence of one of the most recent occurrences of toilet paper thievery and destruction.

Unfortunately, we do not have photographic evidence of all occurrences of this type of thievery as the memory card on the camera is only so big and the cuteness factor has well and truly worn off for the plaintiff.

I'm sure you will agree with me, Your Honour, when I say that this must be stopped. I propose a severe re-training program for 'The Children' and major discipline for the main offender. We will now cut to the accused awaiting your verdict ...

"Who's a cute little puppy-wuppy then? You are! Is the big bad prosecutor scaring you? Come give the nice judgey a cuddle .."

ahem ... Your Honour...

"Where were we? Ah yes.

I hereby recommend that the accused go free to roam his domain, with as much toilet paper as he sees fit to destroy .. I mean play with.

Case Dismissed!"

Quick update ..

I had to eat humble pie this morning when Mum showed me a different way to get to the hospital. It's 4 km longer than the way I usually go but only took 15 minutes instead of the usual 25.

Mum is fine but very drowsy. I've spoken to her tonight and she asked that we not visit until tomorrow afternoon because it's too much of an effort to stay awake. I was wondering if she would be upset if I didn't go tonight (homework police are required in full force) so now I don't have to feel guilty. Aren't I terrible?

Jackie shared the news of the addition to her family with me today. Her little one is so gorgeous .. a real little ball of fluff! Milly (or is it Millie?) is so cute it made me want another little puppy .. for about ten minutes then the functioning part of my brain kicked in! One little creature in the house at a time is enough and at the moment I have 4!

The dog has managed to steal another stuffed toy from the boys so I'd better go supervise the chase and subsequent medical treatment of said stuffed toy before the hormonal children start crying again.

I love my life .. I love my life .. I love my life .. (repeat ad infinitum)

Getting used to this ..

.. too used to this, if you know what I mean!

(Which you probably don't 'cos I'm not making any sense right now and probably won't for some time to come, if the voices in my head have anything to say about it, which they won't because I'm currently ignoring them because they told me to eat too much today and I'm mad at them, at least until tomorrow afternoon. Don't ask me why tomorrow afternoon; it just seemed like the right thing to type at that particular moment in time. And now that I sound like a total nutcase, I had better clarify what all this gibberish is about.)

I'm starting to feel like I don't want to go back to work. I'm quite enjoying this supposed lady-of-leisure (leisure .. yeah right!) lifestyle and could very easily become permanently accustomed to it. Trouble is, my bank account is looking decidedly malnourished and needs feeding, especially as the ravenous appetites of the various utility companies have been depleting it rather faster than normal.

After much thought and discussion with friends whose opinions I really value, I decided against going back to the joy-sucking vortex that is Big W. As much as I miss (most of) the people, I just could not justify returning to a company that does not value its employees or their loyalty. They have gotten to the stage where everyone is just a number in the system and is supposedly replaceable in an instant (which was proved wrong by the fact that they still haven't filled my old job more then five weeks after I left .. hah!)

This leaves me in a quandary though. Now what do I do? I have been looking for positions and most of the ones that are advertised require skills, qualifications or experience I don't have and with the current economic climate, I am a bit concerned that I won't find anything appropriate.

Maybe I should stop being so picky. Nah, that can't be what's wrong. I mean surely there's plenty of jobs for part-time hours, 2-3 days per week, paying at least $18 an hour, not in retail, within 10-15 minutes drive from home, requiring no previous experience, that don't involve wearing some hideously unflattering uniform or dealing with morons day in, day out .. aren't there?

No?

I should revise my expectations just slightly?

OK, so which criteria should I change? The morons one or the uniform one?

Maybe I should find some other way of raising money. Surely there are some non MLM/party plan home based businesses out there.

No?

Hmmmm ...

Anyone want to buy a kid? Slightly used, one lady owner, low mileage for it's age. I'll even throw in one really great guard dog. He'll guard you from trees, the wind, birds flying overhead and ambulance sirens. Strangers .. meh, not so much. Threatening trees in the park .. now that's a different story!


Going cheap ...

House rules ..

Some of our house rules:

If you drop it, pick it up.

If you sleep in it, make it.

If you empty it, fill it up.

If it rings, answer it.

If it barks, feed it.

If you make a mess, clean it up.

If you open it, close it.

For the love of all things holy, close it!

This is what happens when 'Not Me' leaves the door to the linen cupboard open:

Trying to clean it up was interesting. Brutus thought we were playing and keep ripping pieces out of my hands. The feel of shredded, soggy-from-puppy-drool toilet paper was just what I needed this morning.

It's one of the double length rolls so I suppose I should be grateful I found it before he'd managed to shred the whole thing. Small mercies!

Another week over ..

and closer to Christmas .. noooooo! There's still so much to organise and never enough hours available. When, oh when will they invent a cloning machine .. for temporary clones of course, because the world couldn't cope with multiple copies of me and it most certainly couldn't cope with copies of some of the "challenging" individuals I work with. I have enough trouble coping with the originals!!

Anyway, the week that was went something like this:

Sunday: went looking for lounges for the games room and ended up at a pet shop instead. Decided not to buy the extremely cute puppy we found and went home to wonder if we'd made the right decision.

Monday: Back to work to find out I'd been volunteered for more crappy time-consuming fiddly jobs. Chucked a major paddy and manged to delegate most of them back from whence they came. Found out we have stocktake three weeks after Christmas right in the middle of the back-to-school sales. Wondered about the mentality of the higher-ups who make these stupid decisions. Gave up on trying to find logic in their thought processes and wondered some more about the puppy decision.

Tuesday: Went back to buy the puppy but he'd already been sold. Had a look at the other puppies in that shop but they were all kelpie or heeler crosses .. not good in a standard suburban backyard. Went to work in a foul mood because how dare they sell my puppy! Peter came over to work to show me photos of another lot of puppies at a different shop that weren't kelpies or heelers. Went to pet shop after work and bought Brutus. Spent hours wondering if we'd done the right thing (all this wondering and second-guessing is a hobby of mine!)

Wednesday: Went to visit Jackie before work to have a cuppa and a chat. It still amazes me that even with the minuscule amount of time we have together, we can just pick up where we left off. Gotta love that!! Went to work very reluctantly and wondered some more about the puppy decision. Bradley rang me to tell me that there was something very wrong with Brutus. After figuring out that there was nothing wrong as such, just boredom, I went back to dealing with the Mt Everest of paperwork that was threatening to take over my desk. Went home to be greeted very effusively by Brutus and Andrew. Patted them both and then cleaned up all the 'presents' that had been left for me to deal with.

Thursday: Realised it was my second last day of doing the invoice job and I could go back to my own job next week .. woohoo!! As much as I liked the later starts, I want my comfort zone back. Talked to the boss about reducing my hours next year and he seemed fairly receptive to the idea. Received a phone call from home every time Brutus breathed, drank, ate or even moved. Took Brutus to the vet after work for his post-purchase check-up. He was running a slight temp but apparently that's normal due to the stress of all the changes he's gone through. Kids went to Mum's for the night so I played with Brutus until 8:30 then wrapped some presents.

Friday: Woke up feeling a bit under the weather. Realised I hadn't taken my happy pills for two days which explained the impending panic attack feeling. Went to work and left Brutus completely on his own in the house for the first time. Received a phone call when Mum dropped the boys home, to tell me that Brutus had done 2 poos and 3 wees and had eaten all his breakfast and that he was breathing and playing and running and, and, and..... Fought my way through another ginormous pile of paperwork and escaped from work exactly on time. Raced home to see Brutus, oops I mean the children, because they were headed out for a sleepover at Elle's house so I could go out to a scrapping night with Debbie. Went to scrapping night with Debbie and managed to actually achieve some more pages in Peter's car album. Had fun and really enjoyed the company. Came home and played with Brutus some more before crawling into bed about midnight.

Today (so far): 'Slept in' until 7:10am and so far have had a very lazy morning. I had planned to go pick up some laybys and wrap them before the kids got home but I've decide to leave that until the last minute like everything else. If I'm good at anything, it's procrastination!

So now you have the full details of my boring week, I'm going to go do some even more boring and mundane things like mop the floors, do some washing, clean up some more 'presents', wrap some presents (no, not 'those' ones; the good kind!), etc, etc, etc ...

Have a great day!