Recent conversations ...

Me: Andrew, could you please get the plates out ready for me to serve up dinner?

Andrew: It's already done.

Me: Gee, you're organised today.

Andrew: Of course I'm organised. I'm a legend in the kitchen.

Me: What about me? Am I a legend in the kitchen too?

Andrew: Nope. Just me.

slight pause...

Andrew: You're a legend everywhere else ... as well as in the kitchen.

Me: Nice save son!

Andrew: I've had twelve years of practise so I'm finally getting the hang of it!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alex: Mum, I have an upset stomach so can I stay home from school today?

Me: Only if you think you're really unwell and not just faking it.

Alex: (goes into graphic detail of toilet habits and various other TMI-type things that I won't put here .. you're welcome!)

Me: (gagging) OK, you can stay home but I have things to do so you can help me in between toilet visits.

Alex: Thanks Mum. Sorry for any inconvenience this has caused you.

Andrew: (giggling) That sounds like one of those announcements you hear at the shops .. you know .. "Attention please customers: your life will suck from now on .. sorry for any inconvenience".