Friday, 5 February 2010

Am I being unreasonable?

I have been stewing on this overnight and most of this morning and I need to know if I am being unreasonable in expecting my husband to take our children shopping to get me, their mother, a birthday present?

He has never been big on the whole present giving thing .. he says he never knows what to get me, which is a totally different issue .. but couldn't he have at least taken the boys out and let them pick something little or encouraged them to make something from the multitude of options available in the house? The usual excuse of 'I didn't have time to go to the shops' really doesn't ring true as he took two extra days off work this time (without telling me first) so that he would be home for my birthday.

Now I do appreciate that he made arrangements to do that, but given that he dislikes where he is working at the moment and doesn't want to be there anyway, and he has even admitted that it was convenient for him to stay home, it feels like he did that for his benefit, not mine. Yes, we did go out for lunch at the local food court (my choice), but that is something we do almost every time he is home. Yes, I was the one who didn't really want to go see a movie, because there is nothing on at the moment that really appealed as a must-see (for me or him).

At the risk of sounding materialistic and greedy, my birthday is one of the few times times a year I expect some sort of present to be purchased/made, wrapped in something other than newspaper and given to me with a smile. I would have loved a home-made cake decorated by the boys, a coupon book of things they would do without me having to nag, a magazine served up with a cup of tea or coffee or something along those lines. He said several times that he was planning on taking the boys out after school but something else always seemed to come up. Yes money is tight at the moment, but anything would have been nice! To receive nothing at all and to then have to remind two of the boys that it was even my birthday, cut a neat little chunk out of my heart.

I think what it comes down to for me, is that it really hurts that they think so little of me and all I do for them all. Everyone likes to be appreciated and this feels like they couldn't even be bothered to exert the effort to give me a slap in the face. He thinks I am 'pissed off' at him, which I suppose I am, but the overwhelming feeling at the moment is hurt and disappointment, which I have verbalised but I can't even look him in the face at the moment. He had gone back to work this morning before I got back from dropping the kids off at school and running a couple of short errands, so it has just been left hanging.

Anyway, back to the original question .. do you think I'm being unreasonable?


Lita said...

It is not unreasonable at all hun. My heart is breaking for you, as I know that feeling all too well. ANd i know that i'll be in the same position in a couple weeks time. Men..they just suck

Donna said...

Thanks Lita. I did wonder if I was just being a whingey cow but the more I think about it, the more I don't think so (if that makes any sense .. lol!)