The sympathy is overwhelming ...

After asking the boys to keep the noise down because I had a thumping headache, Brad and I had the following exchange ...

Brad: Would you like a Panadol?

Me: No thanks. Just some peace and quiet.

Brad: Do you want a Panadeine instead?

Me: No thanks.

Brad: So do you want a saucepan?

Me: A saucepan? (insert quizzical look here) What on earth for?

Brad: So I can hit you with it and you'll forget about the headache pain for a while and give us some peace and quiet.

Nice to know I can count on them when the chips are down ...

At the risk of TMI ...

... my week has been crappy .. in the literal sense. (Warning, liberal use of quotation marks and toilet talk to follow!)

As many of you know, Bradley has ongoing bowel issues that result in him not 'going' regularly and getting quite, to quote the doctors, 'loaded'. This often results in 'accidents' (which usually weren't dealt with until he was called on it .. aarrgghh!), feeling miserable/embarrassed and just generally unwell. The constant laundry and replacing ruined clothes doesn't help my mood either!

After dealing with this problem for most of his life and consulting with several medical professionals (who all said there was nothing actually wrong with him; his bowel is just lazy and slow-moving .. like the rest of the family .. lol!), I had come to the conclusion that a significant portion of this problem seemed to be psychological. Straight-out talking and counselling didn't seem to help at all, so I decided to try turning him into a chicken hypnosis.

I had my doubts as to whether there would be any benefit but I talked the idea through with him and, upon receiving his very vehement assertion that he did want to try it, I made the appointment with a woman who only deals with children and their various problems.

So, on Monday afternoon we found ourselves in her very lovely house, having a discussion as to what Bradley wanted to achieve. Having dealt with many medical/psychological professionals in my time, I just sat there biting my tongue to make myself keep quiet. The results are partly dependent on the child wanting to make a change in their behaviour.

Once she was satisfied that he did indeed want to be there, was willing to try anything safe to fix this problem and assuring him he wasn't going to be turned into a chicken (unless that was what he wanted!), she hypnotised him. It was very strange seeing him 'going under' and then watching his facial expressions and body language change as she talked to him about what would happen if he continued down the 'low road', was all rather surreal. Then to see his face light up like a Christmas tree when she spoke about the 'high road' and having this problem fixed was absolutely beautiful. He came away from that session speaking very positively about the whole experience and the changes he was hoping for.

Here's where the TMI stuff really starts, so for those of you who can't handle bodily functions, stop reading now! You have been warned!!

The next morning (Tuesday), he came down to my room and showed me a 'huge lump' that had appeared in his belly overnight. Normally, when I palpate (feel) his abdomen, I can feel something like a solid sausage all the way across. That's what the doctors are referring to when they say he's fully loaded .. his bowel is full all the way across .. which in itself is not a major problem but this lump was a whole 'nother can of worms kettle of fish story.

It was about the size of an adult man's fist and, when pressed on, would disappear back into his abdomen only to re-appear a short time later. He wasn't in any pain, had no fever or vomiting but it just didn't seem right to me and if it's one thing I've learned over the years, it's to trust my instincts when it comes to one of my children and their health.

After dropping the other two boys at school, I decide to skip the middle man, in this case our GP who would have advised me to do what I did, and took him straight to the Emergency Department at our local public hospital. (With money being as tight as it is, I figured he would be taken care of under Medicare and I wouldn't have to fork out the gap payment for the private hospital ED).

We got in to see a doctor within 40 minutes which is very unusual for this particular hospital (actually who am I kidding? It's unusual for any hospital!) and probably also due the fact that his stomach looked like an alien was about to burst forth at any moment, hopefully singing and dancing and generally entertaining the other patients. Either that or the clerks were scared he was going to burst in the waiting room and they would have to clean up the mess, so they pushed him through quickly.

The doctor came and examined him (1 hour wait), organised for an ultrasound (2.5 hour wait), waited for the results (another 2 hour wait) and then told me what I knew all along .. "his bowel is fully loaded." Swallowing back the retort of "Really? No shit Sherlock (no pun intended) .. I figured that one out myself!" I asked the all important question of "So what can you do about it?" His response was "I don't know. You have to wait to talk to our paediatrician. He should be available after 5pm."

By now, it was nearing school pick-up time for the other two boys and I had well and truly had enough of sitting there, waiting for them to tell me what I already knew. I asked if he was in any danger from this and, after being given a list of things to watch out for, went and picked the others up from school, resolving to take him to the other hospital in the morning.

After an unproductive and uneventful night, despite the medication in both ends of his body, I took the others to school and headed off to the other ED. Remembered halfway there that I was supposed to be taking the dog to the vet for his 6-week-post-accident checkup but concluded (rightly!) that the child was just slightly more important at the moment, especially considering the dog has absolutely no trouble pooping .. anywhere!!

We presented to the triage nurse and were classed as category five which usually means about an hour's wait on quiet days, but lucky us managed to pick a busier day so we got to wait for 2.5 hours!! Luckily I had thought to actually pack some entertainment for Brad this time and one of the lovely volunteer tea ladies made me a nice cup of tea to go with my catch up reading of last year's gossip magazines. The ED had changed their billing structure, in that you now have to pay the gap payment at the time of being seen so I dutifully forked over $165 (inflation is a bitch!!) and then went back to waiting.

To cut a very long story short, I know .. too late!, the doctor assessed him, organised an industrial strength enema and let it take its course. Upon seeing hardly any result, he ordered another to be administered 1.5 hours after the first, much to Brad's disgust.

After trying to encourage Brad to just let his body get rid of it all and listening to his laments of "I just want to go home", I was rather shocked to hear him come out with "I just want to die! Why did I have to be born with this?" We had a little 'come-to-Jesus' talk about counting blessings and stop focusing on the negative after that which seemed to work for a little while, then he just gave up and either lay on the bed ignoring me or sat on the toilet doing the same.

Just as I was about to call the nurse and/or doctor back to say it wasn't working, a noise not unlike that of a tsunami came from the bathroom. The look of relief on his face was almost comical as was the nurse's face when she came in to view the result. (Poor nurses .. having to look at all sorts of gross things day in, day out!) I said that she was probably going to have to arrange for a plumber to unblock the toilet as Bradley appeared to have given birth to his alien in there. She just laughed and pronounced it a nine-pound 'poo baby'. (No, I'm not making birth announcements for it!!)

So after all that, Bradley's lump had gone, he felt much better and we headed for home where he proceeded to have a nice, soothing, warm shower then fall asleep for three hours. All that effort really took it out of him .. literally!!

Overall, I'm glad that he's feeling better and it was nothing serious.

I'm glad that he has now been given the chance to help himself with the hypnosis without the physical obstacles.

I'm glad that I have my happy child back.

I'm glad that he is back at school and can freely play without worrying about having an accident.

I'm just trying to get my head around the fact that it just cost $165 for my child to poop! It would have been much cheaper at home child ... lol!

Back on deck .. sort of!

After spending most of my life struggling with my weight, I finally decided to do something a bit more permanent about it than just fad diets and meal-replacement-shakes. I managed to lose 33kg on one of the shake programs but over time, I put nearly 40kg back on!

I had gastric-banding surgery done last Wednesday and came home from hospital yesterday. I probably could have come home on Thursday morning but was feeling a bit of a wuss so I stayed the extra night. I'm still a bit sore, which is to be expected after having people poking around in my insides, but overall I'm feeling a lot better than I thought I would.

Peter and the kids are being really supportive so now the rest is up to me...

Wish me luck!

Despite the whingefest ..

.. and feeling rather crappy right about now, having this cold has been a good thing for me.

It has made me realise how lucky I am to have children who are, for the most part, caring and helpful people. They have all:

• made me cups of tea or coffee as often as I wanted with no complaints,
• left me to sleep in the past two mornings,
• kept the fighting to a minimum,
• made most of their own meals,
• voluntarily helped with extra household chores and
• just been nice to me in general.

So as much as they drive me nuts at times, I know I can count on them when the chips are down, or in my case, when the temperature is up. Love you boys!

Of all the things I can handle ...

...having a cold isn't one of them!

Headaches - not too much of a problem.

Bellyaches - standard around here.

Actual bleeding wound - whack a bandaid on it. I'll be fine. "It's only a flesh wound!" (name that movie)

But a cold ... waaah ... stop the world; I want to get off!!

I started getting a scratchy throat yesterday morning and it had developed into a sore right ear by lunchtime and now is a full blown blocked nose, but only on the side with the 'diseased' sinus, that still manages to drip despite not being able to blow it, causing the ear on the same side to feel like it is packed with concrete and some little construction worker jackhammering away just for the fun of it, resulting in one very sore and lopsided-feeling head. Well, more lopsided than usual anyway.

I think I'll go ask Kleenex for some freebies because between my tissue use and Brad's toilet paper use, I sure I'm single-handedly keeping them in business!

Labels

As most of you are aware, my eldest son, Alex, has autism. Officially he 'is' a high-functioning autistic with a co-morbid diagnosis of ADD (and I have the certificate to prove it!)

But that's not all he is. He is also:

• just a boy
• a 13 year old going through puberty (with all the associated angst)
• a teen with an interest in maths and science but who hates english and social studies
• a caring brother
• very helpful around the house (sometimes! He is a teenager after all!)
• intelligent about some things and very naive in others
• a loyal friend
• creative and messy
• a loving son

However, he isn't:

• a savant
• obsessed by routine
• ultra-tidy
• retarded
• superior or inferior to other kids (just different, but aren't we all?)
• condemned to a life of being unemployable
• unable to form lasting relationships
• 'suffering' from a horrible condition
• faking it just to get his own way
• unlovable
• incapable of loving others
• the result of something I did wrong
• going to 'grow out of it'

The only reason he has a 'label' of autism is that I wanted to understand how to help this child of mine who seemed to look at the world through different eyes. I felt there was something that wasn't being processed in the 'normal' fashion and when it was explained to me as "his brain is wired differently", everything made so much more sense. It has helped immensely in our interactions and with helping him to make his way in this often difficult world. But just because he is able to make eye contact, hold a conversation and give hugs doesn't mean he's faking it. Autism as a diagnosis covers a very broad spectrum of symptoms and as such, not two autistics are ever completely the same.

There are so many labels floating around in the world today and honestly, I think some of them are pushed for by the parents to explain away some of their own feelings of inadequacy (and yes, that thought has crossed my mind in relation to my own situation). Yet other parents seem to want to turn it into a battle of "my child is more defective than your child." It's not a competition people .. it's our children we're talking about!! The fact that my child doesn't have a physically obvious 'disability' doesn't make him any less worthy of help.

Like most parents, all I want for my children is for them to be the best they want to be and to be happy. So all I'm asking is, if someone has a label, be it ADD, autism, cerebral palsy, diabetes, muscular dystrophy, schizophrenia, depression, etc., please treat each person as an individual. Of course, allowances and accommodations may need to be made, but let go of your pre-conceived ideas and get to know the person underneath the label.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." (Plato)

Quick update ..

Good news!!

I went to the doctor with Mum this afternoon to get the results of her lump biopsies and was told "it's all completely benign .. we didn't really expect it to be anything but we had to check anyway." Given her previous breast cancer history, it's to be expected that they would be a bit more cautious about anything new or different, but it's still such a relief to hear that there's nothing wrong.

She's now happily making plans for her Bali trip next week and Christmas after that. Oh and I think she wants to do some 'together time' in the garden soon ... nnnooooooo!!!

You know the old saying ..

"it never rains but it pours"? Well it's pouring here at the moment.

When I got to work this morning, all hell had broken loose because 'somebody' (me) had dared to use my own initiative and tidy up the office resulting in 'everybody else's' (my direct boss') stuff being 'thrown out'. After having a quick 'girl look' (ie under things and in her desk drawers), I produced said missing stuff and was left alone again for approximately two minutes before the store manager had a minor disaster with the computer system and froze everyone's computers for half an hour.

While I negotiated with the IT 'Help' Desk ('help' my backside!) for the safe return of the usage of our computers and their files, he managed to break the photocopier too. I was sure I could not be the only person in that place capable of working something as basic as a photocopier but today I was proven wrong time and time again. Anything that could break down today, did so with gleeful abandon, usually after being touched by one of three people (Manager, assistant manager and my direct boss). Just when I started to get on top of things, I had another one of 'those' phone calls (but not about the kids this time).

I found out that Mum had to have a biopsy done on some lumps she found last week. In typical-mother-trying-to-protect-her-child-style, she said she didn't tell me because she didn't want me to worry. Having her ring me in tears from outside the procedure room at the hospital was much more calming than warning me in advance .. NOT! Love you dearly mother, but I wish you'd let me help you with this sort of stuff and leave me alone when it comes to house maintenance and gardening! I'm going with her to get the test results tomorrow. Thoughts and prayers gratefully appreciated.

Thank heavens I managed to catch up with Jackie for a chat this morning, and left feeling so much more grounded than I had felt going in. I just hope I didn't take too much of her energy with me when I left!! Thanks Jack .. you're one in a billion and I love you for it!

Anyway, it really is raining and pouring outside so I'll take that as my cue to go and get snoring!

I got 'the call' from school today...

You know ... the one every parent dreads.

"Your child has been injured. We have called an ambulance. Can you please meet it at the hospital."

There weren't many details apart from "he's hurt his arm and it doesn't look right." I'm sure I broke some land speed records getting to the hospital, only to find I had beaten the ambulance there! After pacing up and down and getting steadily more worried, it pulled up and Alex stepped out, calm as you please, as if going to the hospital in an ambulance was an everyday occurrence.

"Oh, hi Mum. What are you doing here?"

Forcibly restraining myself from going all mama bear on him, I frantically checked him over for signs of blood and broken bones while trying to present a calm exterior. No blood, no obviously broken bones, not even any signs of shock. What a waste of my first aid training!

The school nurse, who had followed the ambulance to the hospital, explained that she was concerned that his arm was still numb after an hour and that it had gone a funny bluish colour in parts. That and the fact that he was "too calm" which apparently is very odd in boys of this age .. they're usually "passed out or crying for a band aid" (her words, not mine!)

After getting the details of how it happened and being seen by the triage nurse, we sat in the waiting room for half an hour. During this time, I began to suspect that he had embellished some of the symptoms while at school and that there wasn't actually anything wrong with him.

When we were seen by the doctor, who did all sorts of tests with a sharp implement (to test his pain response and see whether his arm really was numb), she pronounced that he had probably just pinched a nerve in his elbow and that he would be right as rain by tomorrow. Lucky us huh?

At least it got me out of work for a while. Now we just have to deal with the ambulance bill ...

I hate windy nights!

Although it has been relatively windy around around here for at least four days, I've only gotten hayfever today. It used to be that as soon as the wind started, I'd start sneezing immediately but it would get a lot easier to breathe without sneezing after the first 24 hours.

Now it's pretty much the opposite. The wind starts and I'm fine for a couple of days then all of a sudden, I can't see, breathe or stop my eyes from watering. I have tried every over-the-counter anti-histamine and some that require a prescription, all to no avail. I get some short term relief, usually about an hour, then it's back to being full on.

I know that this too will pass, but I am just in whingeing mood! Thanks for letting me vent!

Playing nurse now...

Today has been another interesting day.

I was out of bed and on the road at 5:15am taking Mum to the hospital for surgery on her right wrist (for carpal tunnel syndrome). Of course, I didn't think to check my fuel gauge last night so I had to find a petrol station open at that hour of the morning (most don't open 'til 6am around here) and then hope I had enough money to pay for it because I realised I left my eftpos cards at home.

With Mum safely delivered to the hospital, it was back home to get the five boys fed and ready for school. For some reason, they all picked this morning to sleep in and to be in a 'go-slow' mood. They all made the bus (just) then it was time to wait for the phone call to pick Mum up again.

I managed to do some washing, pay some bills and even a little bit of scrapping before the phone call came at 11am. I couldn't believe it took me 55 minutes just to get there to pick her up and another 50minutes to get home! The whole round trip was done in 60 minutes this morning. (The fact that I missed the turnoff to the hospital and ended up on the freeway heading south of the city had nothing whatsoever to do with how long it took .. honest!)

Once I picked Mum up, I found out the surgeon had given her a cortisone injection into the left wrist as well as operating on the right one. Apparently the left wrist had a pain level of about 9 out of 10 but the right one didn't hurt at all. After dosing her up on major painkillers, I left her watching a DVD while I faced the joyous prospect of cleaning the boys toilet. (5 Boys, 1 toilet, very poor aim .. form your own mental picture of my level of elation!)

I went to check on Mum and found her dozing off so I talked her into going to bed. She managed a couple of hours before the painkilers wore off and by that time, the boys were home. She watched a bit more TV while I supervised homework and made dinner, then she begged for some more pain relief. I dosed her up and put her to bed in my bed where she is now curled up fast asleep. I even got to tuck her in (the joys of having both hands bandaged!)

Anyway, I'm going to go make the couch into my bed for the night and hope I get some sleep too. If I don't, work will just have to function without me for one more day!

Therapy

After another round of fruitless, disheartening discussion, I needed something to do. I wandered around the house for a while trying to decide which project to tackle and finally decided on weeding down the laundry side of the house.

Weeding is great therapy. You can vent all your frustrations on the weeds, you're getting exercise, you're outdoors getting fresh air and sunshine and there's a visible result when you decide you've had enough.

6 wheelbarrows full of weeds later, the laundry gardens are looking a lot better. I am thoroughly sore and tired but at least I did something instead of eating! Now I might actually try to scrap something. (Only 'cos I need to sit down for a while!!)

Stitches

It seems I have reached 'that' stage in life - you know, the one where your doctor becomes the only person you have time to visit on a regular basis!

I have just had another skin cancer removed this afternoon and been left with five stitches in its place. I know the stitches are the better option but why can't they a least cut out some of the bits I really don't want anymore .. like the double chin and the horrendous belly. I can't really claim it as baby weight anymore .. the baby is 9 years old! Ok, no more whingeing (until next time lol).

I'll get the results of this one next Friday so if you are so inclined, please say a prayer that it's not anything serious.

PS the other one was just starting to turn into a nasty one but we got it early enough. Whew!

Numb nose

As I sit here typing, I am very aware of how strange my nose feels right now. Or rather, how it doesn't feel, because it's numb but only on one side.

I had a skin cancer removed from the left side of the bridge of my nose this afternoon at 5pm. It is now 7:40 and it's still numb. It's the weirdest feeling because it's sort of itchy but if I scratch it, the itch doesn't go away because I can't feel myself scratching.

Luckily the doctor doesn't think it's anything serious but it was bigger than he expected so we'll just have to wait and see. He's sent a sample off for testing but he won't have the results until early next week. One of those hurry up and wait situations that we all love so much.

Putting on the rose-coloured glasses now.. it'll all be fine!

(Public service announcement: Please make sure to get any lumps and bumps on your skin checked out regularly.)