Monday, 18 May 2009

Case for the prosecution ...

Your Honour,

In the case of Donna Hawkins V Brutus (hereafter known as 'The Toilet Paper Bandit') and 'The Children', I will endeavour to show just cause for re-training 'The Children' to keep the toilet door locked, or at least closed, at all times.

Exhibit A:
A photograph of the accused, 'The Toilet Paper Bandit'.

I realise the accused looks like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth and he is, in fact, rather cute and fluffy, but appearances can be deceiving.

Exhibit B:
Evidence photograph of the first occurrence of toilet paper thievery and destruction.

This was a new thing and the plaintiff, Donna Hawkins, was sure the accused would soon realise the error of his ways and reform himself into a house-rule-abiding puppy. Unfortunately this was soon followed by attempted clothing theft (Exhibit C)

and topped off with making-himself-comfortable-on-the-furniture (Exhibit D).

Exhibits E & F:
Evidence of one of the most recent occurrences of toilet paper thievery and destruction.

Unfortunately, we do not have photographic evidence of all occurrences of this type of thievery as the memory card on the camera is only so big and the cuteness factor has well and truly worn off for the plaintiff.

I'm sure you will agree with me, Your Honour, when I say that this must be stopped. I propose a severe re-training program for 'The Children' and major discipline for the main offender. We will now cut to the accused awaiting your verdict ...

"Who's a cute little puppy-wuppy then? You are! Is the big bad prosecutor scaring you? Come give the nice judgey a cuddle .."

ahem ... Your Honour...

"Where were we? Ah yes.

I hereby recommend that the accused go free to roam his domain, with as much toilet paper as he sees fit to destroy .. I mean play with.

Case Dismissed!"


Anonymous said...

OOHHHHH!!! He is so cute and doesn't he know it .... when are you writing your book (you have such a way with words)

Lita said...

LMAO You have such a way with words - love it!