Thursday, 4 June 2009

Whoever invented the recorder ..

should be hung, drawn, quartered, and then set on fire for good measure!

I can handle listening to just about any other instrument being played by an inexperienced learner. (Except a violin .. that always sounds like someone is trying to pluck the hairs out of a very delicate area .. one at a time .. with a blowtorch. Either that or a cat being stretched and strangled at the same time!)

I try to be supportive and appreciative of the child's efforts. (Although the expression on my face probably gives away what I'm really thinking .. "And just what, exactly, have my eardrums ever done to you?")

I realise that it is probably the cheapest and simplest instrument available to teach whole classes of children at a time. (Though the plastic they make them out of now doesn't seem to be nearly as hardy as it used to be. There was a time when you could use them as a handy substitute for a hammer without inflicting too much damage whereas now, you can barely play them normally without something falling apart.)

I know that children, whilst being the apple of their parents' eyes, can be somewhat difficult to deal with in large groups (kind of like wildebeest, or for that matter, just about any other wild beast I suppose), but how does giving them the power to inflict mental anguish and hearing loss on anyone within hearing range improve the situation at all?

I can understand that primary school music teachers have probably lost certain pitches of hearing from being repeatedly exposed to such a monstrous instrument, but I ask you, is that any reason to try to ensure that the parents of their students lose those same pitches of hearing?

So whilst I can sympathise with the plight of the primary school music teacher, I ask you all to join me in getting these abominations banned! All in favour .. say aye.


You'll have to speak up.

I can't hear you!

Does anyone know sign language?

Oh .. I give up! I'll be hiding as far away as I possibly can, trying to stop the flow of blood from my ears. Send me a telegram when he's finished practising please ....


Lee said...

Laughing! I've just survived a school year which had two of my kids playing two different songs - simultaneously since September. Though, it's better than my sister practicing her chanter (for the bagpipes) day and night when I was a kid. It really can be worse :)

Lita said...

Oh Donna you make me laugh! You have such a way with words woman! Have you ever considered writing a book, or a column about your adventures as a mum? It'd be a winner for sure!