Monday, 22 June 2009

Dear Donna,

Hi there! It's your old friend, the Universe, here to welcome you to another week of fun-filled lunacy.

I love watching you on mornings like these when you sleep in .. some of the things you do make me laugh! For instance, did you realise that you have made three cups of coffee this morning and yet haven't managed to drink a single one? The fact that you then made the second and third cups and put them down in the same location as the other one, then absent-mindedly picked up the first (very cold) cup to take a sip out of was hilarious, as was the look on your face!

Congratulations for getting the children to school on time, dressed in the right uniforms and sort-of awake but I will have to deduct points for the fact that you managed to forget two out of three school bags and thereby forgetting two out of three lunches. You really did need that second trip to school to remind you to get petrol though, so I suppose it's all worked out in the end.

On the topic of petrol, it would probably be a good idea to check the fuel gauge more than once a week now that you're driving a much bigger and thirstier car, especially seeing as the other car is filled with donations to charity and you have about as much chance of fitting the kids into that car as you do of fitting into your year 12 Graduation Dinner dress. Having bits sticking out the sides of the dress isn't actually illegal (though it definitely should be!) whereas having parts of the children sticking out of the car is illegal and possibly just a teensy-weensy bit dangerous. Just think of the damage to the paintwork and the upholstery if the children manged to bleed all over it; not to mention the cost of buying one-armed uniform blazers and one-legged uniform trousers.

Now I realise you have a busy week ahead of you, with the tiler doing both bathrooms and the new robe going into Alex's bedroom, but you need to make time for that wonderful thing called relaxing. You have only managed to read 6 books in the last 4 days so you're falling a bit behind. The housework can wait until you catch up. Another week won't really hurt anything will it? With the tiler being there, you won't need to do the bathrooms and I'm sure you can put the slaves, oops I mean children, to work doing the dishes. They dirty more of them than you do after all! So what if there's more of them .. put them to work I say!

Anyway, I had better be off for now to check on some of the other inhabitants of Earth or they may start getting jealous that I only seem to talk to you. Not everyone has voices in their heads to keep them company like you do! Just remember to check with another human before doing anything the voices tell you to or we may have all sorts of issues ... again!

Take care (and your happy pills!)

Love from,
The Universe

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