It's all in the (c)attitude

Bradley:

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Andrew:

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Alex:

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I never realised how many ..

house rules my kids had actually listened to until I heard them telling Alex's friends:

• "You can't ...",
• "We have to ...",
• "That goes away here not there"
• "We're not allowed to .."
• "Only one at a time"

and my personal favourite:

• "Put it away yourself. Mum's not your slave!"

All in all, it's been a relatively quiet night despite having 5 boys in the house (2 x 13yo, 1 x 12yo, 1 x 11yo & 1 x 9yo). I think the 3 older boys finally fell asleep some time around 2am after their sugar-filled 'midnight' feast at 11pm. Luckily for them, they let me sleep in this morning until 9am or there would have been bloodshed for sure!

Now I just have to negotiate the wreckage that is my kitchen for a cup of coffee and then I can start the day in earnest. Or not.

Check this out

I was reading a new-to-me blog this morning and found this. It's pretty cool, especially for a stationery geek like me!


EepyBird's Sticky Note experiment from Eepybird on Vimeo.

"I need a papyrus scroll"

... is what I heard at 4pm this afternoon. The ensuing conversation went something like this:

"You need what?"

"A papyrus scroll."

"Why?"

"For a school project."

"When is it due?"

"Technically not until Tuesday next week but ..." (voice trails off into mumbling behind hand)

"What? Stop mumbling child! When do you really need it by?"

"Tomorrow so one of the other kids in my group can write on it and do some hieroglyphic things to it."

"Tomorrow?! OK. Hop in the car and we'll go find a shop that specialises in ancient papyrus scrolls. The shops are open tonight so it shouldn't be too hard, should it?"

"Muuuum! (stretching it out to two whole syllables) I need to make one, not buy one."

"Oh. I didn't realise you had perfected a time travel device. By all means, off to ancient Egypt with you and don't be late for dinner."

"Muuuuuuum! (three syllables this time!) I already rang Nonnie and asked if we could borrow her paper-making kit so we can make some paper and then we can stain it and tear it a bit to make it look like a papyrus scroll so can we go get it please?"

"What's this 'we'? Aren't you supposed to be making it?"

"I will be, with some help from you 'cos I've never done it before and you said you did it once in primary school and that's more times than I've ever done it so you have to help me or else I'll get in trouble and you don't want me to get into trouble again 'cos then we'll have to deal with another detention and I know you don't like it when I get detentions and if you don't help me it will be your fault this time." (finally stops talking and starts gasping for air like someone who has been underwater for five minutes.)

"OK, get in the car and we'll go get the kit from Nonnie's house. Oh, and just so you know, I stopped listening after the part where you said you were doing it."

"But Muuuuuuuuuuuuuum! (five, or was it six?, syllables.) I need help!"

(Must.keep.sarcastic.answers.to.myself! I am Pollyanna! I am Anne of Green Gables! I.will.not.give.in.to.this.temptation! Happy thoughts .. happy thoughts .. chocolate .. coffee .. both at same time .. aah .. that's it!)

Can anyone guess what I spent the last two and a half hours doing? And no, unfortunately, it didn't involve either coffee or chocolate!

It never ends ...

Just when one issue goes away (temporarily at least) another one rears its ugly little head.

Peter and I have been having quite a few 'discussions' about what to do with Alex's schooling. Peter reckons he's had enough chances at this school and isn't putting in the effort to justify keeping him there. I think he needs to be in this sort of environment, suspensions and detentions not withstanding, to try and foster some sense of accountability and understanding of consequences.

The trouble is, we have used the threat of being removed from this school as a consequence of getting another detention for any reason, and now we have to decide one way or the other.

If we don't remove him, is this going to send the message that he can do whatever he likes and get away with it?

Or by removing him, are we going to be going from the frying pan into a raging inferno?

I have said to Peter that the only reason it seems so bad at his current school is because there are consequences to his actions, the school follows through on them and they keep in contact with us to let us know that he's having issues. I think the constant feedback and communication are making it seem a lot worse than it is because there just wasn't that level of interaction when we were at school. If we didn't do our homework, our parents didn't find out until the end of the year when the reports came out.

If he were at the other school that Peter wants to send him to, I don't think we would have that same level of follow-up, accountability and communication. It's a huge school with something like 3000 students and I'm scared he will just fall through the cracks.

I'm probably just in protective-mummy-bear-mode, but I don't want to uproot him from his only two friends in the whole world and what I believe to be a better learning environment, just to prove that we are serious about following through on a threat made out of frustration.

Then when you factor in that, according to Peter, "one out, all out" and I'll have two other very upset boys being dragged away from their comfort zones too.

Any ideas??

Oh my!

What big ears you have!

All the better to hear you with my dear!

What a lot of teeth you have!

All the better to eat you with my dear!

What a strange tongue you have! Is it supposed to do that?

Yes! Yes it is. Look my brother has one just like it.

But what about your other brother?

Oh, he's inherited Dad's genes. They have very strange tongues indeed! Not a sideways curl in sight.

(This all started because Bradley came to me and said"Look what I can do Mum!" Then they all had to get in on the act. I'm so proud!!)

I promised myself ..

that I would try and be more positive in the things I say. I'm no Pollyanna or Anne of Green Gables, but I'm trying anyway. I'm also trying to do one nice and unexpected thing for someone per day without expecting any sort of reward.

So far I've made it through two days and have achieved my goals.
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It's been the hardest two days of my life!!!

I never realised how hard it would be to not join in with the whinge sessions at work, to bite my tongue when someone says/does something really stupid, to not be sarcastic when the situation is just crying out for it and to stop and think before saying or doing anything. But, overall, I'm getting there.

What are you trying to achieve this week?

Dear Universe ...

This week I would like to:

• thank you for giving me the intestinal fortitude to keep returning to a place that is slowly draining my life force and logical thinking skills. I realise that it would be extremely unhealthy to be surrounded by happy and joyous people all the time, but can you please arrange for it to happen at least some of the time?
• question why on Earth did you decide to give two of my male children testosterone surges at the same time? (Yes I do realise that it would be kind of pointless to give female children huge testosterone surges but work with me here!) If you are planning on doing this again in the near future, please let me know first so I can run away to somewhere more peaceful like, oh I don't know, maybe Iraq?
• ask for help to understand why the washing pile, children's appetites, my waistline and certain people's egos never seem to get any smaller. 'Nuff said.
• thank you for giving us such a choice of designers of women's lingerie and swimsuits. Just a side note, when do you think I will have paid enough for my obvious bad karma in all my previous lives, because I'd really like to be able to buy a bra that fits, is comfortable and doesn't look like a frontline battle outfit.
• thank you for all those wonderful people around me who are capable of seeing when I've had enough and who just "move away from the crazy lady". Now if you could just work on the rest of them, I would be eternally grateful, especially if you could manage it before I end up in prison for mass homicide. Then again ... at least I wouldn't have to deal with them, or their mates, in there. Leave this one with me; I'll get back to you later.

All in all, thank you for allowing me to learn so many lessons about human behaviour this week. I really appreciate this opportunity but next time, please could you check that I wasn't already having a breakdown first? Thanks again!

Yours faithfully,

Donna

I'm officially the mother of a teenager ..

and I don't like it! Alex is now thirteen (and one day, as he reminded me this morning) and I feel like I blinked and he grew up overnight.

Where did my baby go?

What happened to my chubby little toddler?

And the talkative little pre-schooler?

As well as the sometimes unco-operative, but mostly lovable primary school child?

I miss them all but I'm glad he's growing into a fine young man.

(Except for that teensy-tiny complication of the three-day-suspension but aren't we all supposed to learn from our mistakes? Here's hoping!)

I took yesterday off work, ostensibly to deal with the repercussions of the suspension but really just to be home with him on his first teen birthday, and we had a great day. Peter took a couple of days off work as well and drove down from work on Sunday night, arriving after Alex was asleep, just so he could be home with him too.

The two younger boys gave Alex their presents before school (a DS game and a Wii game) and then Peter and I took him shopping for his present. We wanted to get him a stereo for his room and a "proper" watch but wanted him to have some input into the choice. We managed to get both with a minimum of angst and then treated him to lunch. Of course, still being a kid, he wanted Macca's so we went to the shopping centre food court where he and Peter had Macca's and I had a ham and cheese crepe .. yum!

As soon as we got home, he set up his new stereo and settled into his room to play his new DS games. I tried to go and sit with him to watch him play and was told that I could watch another time .. and not in his room because that's where he goes "to get away from it all". (I'd prefer to get away from it all in Fiji or even Margaret River, but I suppose it's a good thing that he's easy to please .. for now!)

We went to Sizzler for dinner with Pete's Mum and Dad and my Mum. Andrew and Brad thought that Sizzler was only in Queensland so they were over the moon that there's one here. The food was ok but the kids' joy at being able to help themselves to whatever they wanted made up for it. After dinner, we thoroughly embarrassed Alex by singing Happy Birthday at the top of our lungs but he got his revenge (on me anyway) by refusing to eat any of the birthday cake I had made at his request. Devil's Food Cake with chocolate icing .. how could he want Sizzler's melted soft serve chocolate ice cream mush over that? I always knew he was switched in the hospital .. he can't possibly be my child!!

As much as I joke about you Alex, I love you heaps and I'm glad you're my baby .. sorry, not my baby .. my teenager!

What a week!

Where to start? "Start at the very beginning. It's a very good place to start." (Anyone else have that song stuck in their head now?) Anyway ...


Wednesday 27 August

• Had the day off work because Brad has tummy troubles .. again!


• Did very little else but washing, washing and more washing. At least the weather was good enough to get most of it dried because the evening chill hit.

Thursday 28 August

• Due to having Wednesday off work, I missed the staff meeting at which all the new rules of the offices were discussed. So I had my own "little chat" with my new boss where she basically asked me to play enforcer and tattletale for her. She has also asked that I use my "close relationship" (said with raised eyebrows by her) with one of the managers to pull him into line too. Sorry, nope, not going to happen. That's your job lady, not mine! And since when does being able to have a decent conversation with someone of the opposite sex constitute a "close relationship" worthy of raised eyebrows?


• After leaving work exactly on time (gee what a rebel I am!), I went shopping for a wedding present for a friend (Belinda) whose wedding was that afternoon. I ummed and aahed over what to get and ended up buying a lovely picture frame and statue gift set from Willow Tree. Then headed for home to change for aforementioned wedding.


• On my way to pick up Jackie to take her to Belinda's wedding, I received a phone call from the boys' school telling me that Alex was suspended for three days for fighting. After an initial bout of "I'm going to kill him with my bare hands", I relegated it to the "I'll deal with that later pile" in my mind and went to the wedding. It was lovely to see Belinda so happy after all she's been through and Harvey looked pretty happy too!


• I dropped Jackie off and went home to deal with Alex. As soon as I called him down to the lounge room and told him to shut the doors, he confessed all. (And I was so looking forward to trying out the new torture tools too! Maybe next time.) Whilst I could understand why he reacted the way he did, as can the vice-principal, violence is never an acceptable way of dealing with problems. So now he, I mean we, had to deal with the end result. The worst part was ringing Pete to tell him. Alex was so terrified that Peter was going to just take him out of the school that he cried himself to sleep.

Friday 29 August

• Worked my normal hours at Livingston then worked an extra 3 hours at Armadale store, helping them to get stock and invoices processed. Was absolutely exhausted by the time I got home (with takeaway for tea because I couldn't be bothered even trying to think about what to cook!)
• Talked to Peter some more about what to do with Alex. Surprisingly, he said that he wasn't going to "go Amish" on him because he felt the suspension was enough punishment in itself (Hellooo? Are we talking about the same child? Not going to school is not a punishment!!) After a bit more discussion, we agreed that Alex should have some privileges removed and have to do a whole lot more chores around the house until he goes back to school.

Saturday 30 August

• Worked at Armadale again for another 3 hours and came home rather sore and tired. Three and a bit pallets piled high with boxes of books, that all needed to be opened and scanned then neatly repacked, would tend to make most people tired. It was a bit disheartening leaving there with another 4 pallets still to be checked, but at least we got some of them done.
• After the tiring morning, I spent most of the afternoon lazing around reading .. I mean supervising the children's attempts at housework. Because they need to know how to do these things for the future, right? Every boy should know how to clean a bathroom and toilet especially considering they still can't aim!!
• Had an extra child in the house Saturday night .. Lachlan, Mina's son, came for a sleepover. Luckily they were all well behaved so I could continue my lazing around with no bloodshed. I finally managed to get them into bed at 9pm and I think they fell asleep by 9:30pm. I'm not 100% sure because I was dozing in the recliner in the lounge room. Sometimes those chairs are more comfortable than my bed!

Sunday 31 August

• Slept in until 7am .. woohoo! .. then got up and tried to persuade the boys to stop playing the Wii long enough to eat breakfast and get dressed for the day. I'm still not sure if I succeeded with he breakfast part but they'd eat if they were hungry, wouldn't they?
• Mina picked Lachie up around 10am so we sat and had a cuppa and a chat before she left to help a friend clean up her shed and I sat down to read another book.
• I realised at noon that I'd said "anytime after 12" to Debbie and Mum for scrapping so I hurriedly cleaned off the scrapping tables and then tried to decide which project to work on. They both turned up around 1pm and we had a lovely afternoon scrapping. Mum left a bit early to go home to have a nap before starting work that night which left Deb and I some time to have a good chat about everything and nothing. Good times!

Sums up my afternoon ...

Courtesy of i can has cheezburger


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BWO ...

Found this through Lita's blog today and it struck really struck a chord with me.

blogging without obligation

So, without further ado, that is all for today!

Why oh why?

Why ...

• .. do children wait until the last possible minute to tell you they need a costume for a school event? Five minutes before they have to be on the school bus doesn't even give me enough time to yell at them, let alone find them a King David costume. "No, we don't have any white sheets, towels, tablecloths or even clothes. We live in a house full of boys; of course we don't have anything white!" (He ended up wearing a dress provided by one of the girls! Nobody tell Pete .. sssshhh!)
• .. do the stupidest people seem to get promoted the quickest? I realise that working in retail saps a lot of a person's common sense and logical thought processes, but when even the customers ask if he's been employed as part of an 'Equal Employment Program for the Intellectually Challenged', surely the big bosses should realise the truth!
• .. is it, that when you find an item of clothing you actually like, going out cheap, they don't have it in your size? Admittedly, "side-of-a-house" isn't really a size I want to buy, but I didn't think it would be that hard to find something that fits without making me look like the aforementioned side-of-a-house on some mind-altering drug trip.
• .. when you feel like eating a particular food, that you thought you had stashed very well in your pantry for just such a moment, it has mysteriously disappeared? All I wanted was a handful of peanuts .. not the ones I get paid; the kind you eat .. but they have vanished into thin air. Is the Universe trying to tell me something?
• .. is it so cold when the sun is out and shining happily? Maybe because I'm sitting in here looking at it through the window instead of being out in it. Nah, that can't be it. I was out in it before and I was still cold. Come back hot flashes! All is forgiven .. for now!!
• .. can I say something twenty times and it doesn't sink in, but when someone else says it, it's all of a sudden a good idea? And not just at home either. I kind of expect it here .. that lovely parent-child/mother-son thing .. but when it happens at work as well, I just want to scream! But that would just give me a headache, so it's probably not worth it, right?
• .. are there never enough hours in the day to complete everything you feel you need to do? I suppose it's just all a matter of priorities. I mean, I could be hanging out washing, mopping the floor, cleaning bathrooms or weeding. Then again, I could be reading, scrapping, playing/talking with the boys or having some quality me time. Priorities people!
• .. is it that no matter how many things I find to whinge about, I can always laugh about them in the end? It may take time, but I'll usually get there. Cosmic balance I suppose. (And the fact that some things really are only funny ten years later).

Attack of the evil twins ...

First of all ... get your minds out of the gutter! This is a clean story about my "innocent" little boys who have obviously been watching waaaayy too much TV.

I was sitting in the lounge room last night while the boys were watching some incredibly boring, oops I mean wonderfully entertaining, cartoon show. Andrew came down to give me a hug and sit with me for a while but soon got sick of being tickled, so after a few not-so-half-hearted attempts at knocking my glasses up my nose and into my brain, he went back to the TV room.

Once I had recovered some of my sight, I called Bradley down for a cuddle. He answered me and when I spotted a Bradley size blur coming down the hallway, I just assumed it was him, until Andrew landed in my lap again. The following conversation ensued:

Me: "You're not Bradley."

Andrew: "I know. I'm Yeldarb, his evil twin, come to get the Mummy monster! Bwahahahaha! (insert more evil genius laughing here)"

Playing along, I made the appropriate scared girlie noises at which point Bradley comes running from the other room. (Bear in mind, he didn't have a clue what Andrew had just said because he was totally focused on whatever was happening on the TV).

Bradley: "Yeldarb! How did you escape from maniac prison?"

Andrew: "I'm an evil genius, remember? Why would I tell you anyway?"

Bradley: "Because I'm Werdna; Andrew's evil twin. Can't you recognise me?"

Andrew: "Of course I can't! You look just like him! That's why you're twins silly .. you look like each other."

Then they both started talking about the other evil geniuses in the house, Xela and Annod.

Andrew: "So, have you seen Xela around lately?"

Bradley: "Yeah but I stay out of his way. He's really a maniac!"

Andrew: "Annod is too! She's the worst one of all of us!!"

Me: "No she's not! She's the coolest one!!"

Andrew and Bradley together: "In your dreams Mummy monster!!"

Silence while I glare at both of them.

Andrew: "Hey I've got a great idea. We should form our own evil genius union. Then we'd get paid better and wouldn't get caught so much."

Bradley: "But if we form a union, we might actually have to do some evil genius things and I really can't be bothered right now."

Andrew: "Same time next week then?"

Bradley: "Sure. See you later Yeldarb. I'm off to turn back into Bradley. He gets nicer things than Werdna does. Priorities you know!"

Sometimes I wonder just what goes on inside their heads. Then I realise I really don't want to know .. it's safer that way!!

A good day

All in all, today was a good day.

1. I got to sleep in until 9:45am (but only because Mum had the boys overnight last night so I could go out for drinks with some people from work).
2. I got to catch up with Debbie for a cuppa and a chat (which it feels like I haven't done in ages).
3. I got to play with the boys instead of just being Grumpy Mum (amazing what a bit of sleep can do!)
4. I actually managed to do some housework without feeling resentful that I was the only one doing it (because I wasn't .. the boys helped and it was almost voluntary!)
5. It was a beautiful day and the boys went outside to play without me threatening to lock them out there for their vitamin D dose.
6. I didn't need to use the dryer for the washing because of the aforementioned beautiful day. Freshly washed towels that smell of sunshine .. mmmm!
7. I enjoyed the boys' sillyness (is that even a word?) and I even joined in!
8. I treated the boys to McDonald's for dinner ... just because. And they behaved at the restaurant .. bonus!
9. I got to really see how much my boys are changing but also how much they are staying the same.
10. Today, I liked my life.

I'm scared ...

Andrew is trying to go all gangsta on me!

We were listening to Flo Rida's song "Low" on the way back from McDonald's tonight and I just happened to glance over at him when we were stopped at the lights. He had the real gangsta thing happening with the facial expression, the hand movements, the fingers in the 'right' positions and so on. I almost burst out laughing but managed to restrain myself just in time. I hadn't seen anything funnier in a longtime. The ultimate white kid trying to go gangsta .. hilarious!!

(Before anyone rings Children's Services on me for corrupting my innocent child's mind, I am aware what the song is about, but he isn't. He only sings the chorus and thinks it's about a girl who just happens to be dancing at the same place this man is singing!)

Men!

Why do they keep their thoughts, fears and feelings bottled up until they explode all over the person they're trying to hide them from? More to the point, why do they try to hide them at all? A lot of angst would be saved if they just made a single comment/request at the beginning of any perceived problem before it escalates into all out war.

I know this is rather cryptic but I just had to put this out there into the universe to relieve some of my stress!

AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

That feels better. OK, off to get ready for another day in the paradise that is Big W.

I hate windy nights!

Although it has been relatively windy around around here for at least four days, I've only gotten hayfever today. It used to be that as soon as the wind started, I'd start sneezing immediately but it would get a lot easier to breathe without sneezing after the first 24 hours.

Now it's pretty much the opposite. The wind starts and I'm fine for a couple of days then all of a sudden, I can't see, breathe or stop my eyes from watering. I have tried every over-the-counter anti-histamine and some that require a prescription, all to no avail. I get some short term relief, usually about an hour, then it's back to being full on.

I know that this too will pass, but I am just in whingeing mood! Thanks for letting me vent!

Random stuff ...

• I've been back at work for 2 weeks and four days and it feels like I haven't had a holiday in years!
• We have a new manager at work who is driving everyone crazy and not in a good way. He managed to last all of 3 hours on his first day at our store before he had to "go and sit down somewhere quiet with a cup of coffee" for two hours!! And he talks so much about absolutely nothing, the other office girls and I have resorted to asking him if he wants syrup to go with his waffle. I think he still doesn't get it because he just smiles and nods!
• Had parent-teacher interviews for Alex on Tuesday night. What a surprise .. he hasn't been doing his homework (can you see the sarcasm dripping??) I resisted the urge to say that it was because I didn't have the patience to stand over him with a big stick for the entire time he wasn't actually at school to try and make him finish it. Instead I said something along the lines of "I've finished high school and I passed. I don't need to do it again. It's his turn to step up and take responsibility for his own actions or lack thereof." (Doesn't that sound soooo much better??) Now I'm just in the running for the "Neglectful Mother of the Year" award. Yay, something else to dust!!
• Andrew is going through an 'overly emotional' stage (who needs a teenage girl for mood swings?) That usually means he's about to grow so maybe he'll finally grow out of the uniform shirts he's been wearing for the last three years. Poor kid is hanging out for the day he reaches my chin. Not quite sure why .. it's nothing spectacular to look at!
• I have finally managed to catch up with Jackie for a coffee. It's been so long since we sat and had a counselling session .. oops, I mean chat .. but we just picked up where we left off last time. Either we both need to get new, more interesting lives or rejoice in the fact that our friendship can survive, even when we ourselves are floundering. Thanks Jack .. love ya!
• My littlest darling is being rather forceful in expressing his opinion at the moment. I have had to remind him several times that this house is not a democracy; it's a benevolent dictatorship and that the level of benevolence can change very quickly when the dictator is pushed too far. He now understands what "going Amish" means in practical terms!
• Last Monday was the 8th anniversary of Dad's death. Mum wanted us to all be together so we had dinner at her house, then watched a very old video (1985) of our holiday in New Zealand. Bradley was fascinated by the footage of Dad and Andrew was happy to hear his voice again. They all asked why he was speaking 'funny' though! (Dad's from Liverpool, England and had quite a broad accent at times)
• I had some money left out of my and Peter's tax returns after paying the council rates and water rates bills ($2200!) so I splurged and bought myself a pair of new earrings. I figured I could always pawn them if I needed to. (Just kidding!!)
• Scrapping has taken a back seat to reading at the moment. Trashy romance novels are the theme of the week so far because escapism is a wonderful thing! I'm still trying to find the rest of the Stephanie Plum series at the library so I might just have to give up and buy them instead.
• Only have to put on one more load of washing, start the dishwasher, fold the washing on the table ready for tomorrow, clean up the kitchen, take the garbage out and turn out all the lights the kids have left on and then I can go to bed. Night all!

Moving update

The building next door has sold at auction for 'only' 1.4 million and the organisation that bought it want to keep it as is, so the short version of the long story is that we're not going anywhere in a hurry.

Apparently it has been bought by a Muslim group that want to use it for youth training. There is a very large Muslim population in this area and, whilst I believe in peaceful co-existence with people of other faiths and cultural backgrounds, there are a lot of people around here who think "they should go back to their own country".

I just hope we're not going to be the target of vandalism like we were when the previous daycare director was accused of 'restraining children unlawfully'. It took ages to clean up all the broken glass and rotten food that got thrown over the fence into our yard that time, so here's hoping it doesn't start again.