Christmas Party Organisation

Mum sent me this email this morning and as it so closely mirrored what I went through organising my work Christmas Party, I thought I'd share.

disclaimer: I mean no offence to any of the minorities mentioned. I just found it funny and hope you do too!

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CHRISTMAS PARTY

FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 21st October 2008

RE: Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...please feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $20.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! The MD will make a special announcement at the Party. Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Pauline

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FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 22nd October 2008

RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our 'Holiday Party'. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now? Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Pauline

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FROM; Pauline, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 23rd October 2008

RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, 'AA Only', you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? Anybody? Forget about the gift exchange. No gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that $20.00 is too much money and Management believe $20.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Pauline

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FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 24th October 2008

RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men; each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food so we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics; the restaurant cannot supply 'No Sugar' desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!

Pauline

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FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director

TO: All F***ing Employees

DATE: 25th October 2008

RE: The F****ing Holiday Party.

Vegetarian pricks .. I've had it with you people !!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the 'grill of death', as you so quaintly put it and you'll get your f***ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know tomatoes have feelings too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing the scream right NOW!! I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink drive and die.

The Bitch from HELL!!!

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FROM: John Benson( Acting Human Resources Director)

TO: All Employees

DATE: 26th October 2008

RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline a speedy recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.

John Benson

The verdict is in ...

We had the meeting with the principal yesterday. Peter was still home so he got to get the information firsthand instead of filtered through me for a change.

Overall she's prepared to keep him at the school (actually she said she would prefer that he stayed) but if we have another incident this term (only two weeks left) his school year would be regarded as finished. He is welcome to come back next year but there has to be significant changes in his behaviour or they will have no choice but to 'exclude him from the school'. If he has an incident at any time in the next semester, he's out.

I've had a chat with him about the results (he wasn't allowed into the meeting) and he has to see both the principal and vice-principal next Monday when he goes back to school. Here's hoping something sinks in!

Not again!

Had another call from the school today to say that Alex has been suspended for fighting again. (I'm sure they have my phone number on speed dial by now!) Another three days of sitting at home not having to do any work .. is it really a punishment?

It appears to be another incidence of Alex 'snapping' and fighting back against the admittedly non-physical bullying and I have explained (again) that violence is never the answer. The scary part this time is that the whole school principal wants to see us tomorrow to 'discuss the situation.' I hope that means she's going to be a bit more involved and make the school psychologist get off her high horse and come to assess the situation at the school, instead of dispensing her wisdom from her comfy little office far, far away.

We have an appointment with an outside (non-school) psychologist for an assessment (and possibly some anger management techniques) but of course that's not for another two weeks and even then, she wants to see me first to decide whether or not she thinks she can help Alex. (I'd go somewhere else, but all the psychologists who deal solely with autistic kids/teens are booked out until the new year.)

He knows what he did was wrong and is currently very worried about what the principal is going to say tomorrow. I hope he gets some sleep because I know I probably won't!

Hope everyone else's day was better than mine!!

It is only the fifteenth of November ..

.. and yet we have been listening to Christmas carols at work for the past week!

Having worked in retail and more specifically stock ordering, for the past four years, I had thought I was used to having to think about occasions like Easter and Christmas in advance. Yet every year I am still astounded at how much earlier the decorations go up and how the managers still can't manage to learn from last year's mistakes.

This year our official Christmas Launch day (today) is later than last year but only by a week. The Christmas carols don't usually start until the official launch day and luckily it's usually only one song in four for the first week or so. Some morons .. oops I mean the radio marketing people .. obviously forgot to tell the other nincompoops .. oops I mean radio programmers .. what the actual launch date was this year. It probably wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that they have only managed to find one even vaguely Christmassy song to play so far. "Do they know it's Christmas time at all?" (aka "Feed the world"). Whilst I appreciate the noble intent behind the song, hearing it played at least once every 30 minutes for the past week is driving us all up the wall. Mind you, it is infinitely preferable to hearing "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" when it's 40 degrees outside!

Because I'm such a generous spirited person, here's a few hints on how to get the most out of your shopping experience in the time leading up to Christmas:

• Saying things like "You must get sick of those Christmas carols pretty quickly" does nothing to improve our spirits and will earn you nothing but an eye roll because it reminds us that we are stuck in the purgatory that is Christmas in retail.
• Asking "Why are you putting Christmas stuff out in October/November?" in the tone that implies it is all our own personal decision to do so, is probably going to get you very little customer service of the good kind thereby prolonging the agony of shopping during Christmas in retail.
• Yelling at the poor staff member who just happened to walk through your line of vision when little Johnny or Suzie changed their mind yet again about what piece of useless plastic they absolutely must have for Christmas, is not going to improve your points with the big guy (depending on your beliefs either God or Santa) or get you any service from the rest of the floor staff suffering through Christmas in retail.
• Bringing little Suzie or Johnny shopping with you and allowing them to wreck the toy section while you browse through the book section at the other end of the store will get you paged to the service desk and earn you the undying hatred of the toy section staff member struggling to survive one of the worst sections to be in during Christmas in retail.
• Implying, or stating outright, that we are all stupid, brain dead idiots who couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery will not get the item you are looking for found any quicker. If anything, stating this will probably result in your item being' lost' in the abyss that is the back dock area during Christmas in retail.

So here's a little request from a woman teetering on the edge of a massive Scrooge-bah..humbug-tantrum-hissy fit-cart-me-away-to-the-mental-institution-meltdown, please be patient with all of us enduring Christmas in retail. Thank you and we look forward to serving you soon.

(Now please excuse me while I go choke on my own sarcasm!!)

Sometimes ..

.. I wish I could go back to the beginning and start over

.. I don't answer the phone especially if I know who is calling

.. I would love to understand what goes on in people's heads

.. I take a 'mental health' day from work

.. I wish I could just wave a magic wand and make it all better

.. I wonder if my medication is working

.. I kick myself when I run out of medication and then realise that yes, it was working

.. I really don't like my children

.. I wonder if that makes me an evil person

.. life is just too hard!

Eight principles

Found this on someone's blog a while ago and then re-found it today so I thought I'd share.

http://www.eightprinciples.com/

Warning: Don't watch if you have a migraine because it won't help it!!

I'm thinking I might have to get the posters and stick them up somewhere I'll see them every morning.

Let me know what you think!

Labels

As most of you are aware, my eldest son, Alex, has autism. Officially he 'is' a high-functioning autistic with a co-morbid diagnosis of ADD (and I have the certificate to prove it!)

But that's not all he is. He is also:

• just a boy
• a 13 year old going through puberty (with all the associated angst)
• a teen with an interest in maths and science but who hates english and social studies
• a caring brother
• very helpful around the house (sometimes! He is a teenager after all!)
• intelligent about some things and very naive in others
• a loyal friend
• creative and messy
• a loving son

However, he isn't:

• a savant
• obsessed by routine
• ultra-tidy
• retarded
• superior or inferior to other kids (just different, but aren't we all?)
• condemned to a life of being unemployable
• unable to form lasting relationships
• 'suffering' from a horrible condition
• faking it just to get his own way
• unlovable
• incapable of loving others
• the result of something I did wrong
• going to 'grow out of it'

The only reason he has a 'label' of autism is that I wanted to understand how to help this child of mine who seemed to look at the world through different eyes. I felt there was something that wasn't being processed in the 'normal' fashion and when it was explained to me as "his brain is wired differently", everything made so much more sense. It has helped immensely in our interactions and with helping him to make his way in this often difficult world. But just because he is able to make eye contact, hold a conversation and give hugs doesn't mean he's faking it. Autism as a diagnosis covers a very broad spectrum of symptoms and as such, not two autistics are ever completely the same.

There are so many labels floating around in the world today and honestly, I think some of them are pushed for by the parents to explain away some of their own feelings of inadequacy (and yes, that thought has crossed my mind in relation to my own situation). Yet other parents seem to want to turn it into a battle of "my child is more defective than your child." It's not a competition people .. it's our children we're talking about!! The fact that my child doesn't have a physically obvious 'disability' doesn't make him any less worthy of help.

Like most parents, all I want for my children is for them to be the best they want to be and to be happy. So all I'm asking is, if someone has a label, be it ADD, autism, cerebral palsy, diabetes, muscular dystrophy, schizophrenia, depression, etc., please treat each person as an individual. Of course, allowances and accommodations may need to be made, but let go of your pre-conceived ideas and get to know the person underneath the label.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." (Plato)

There's three in the bed ...

and the little one said:

"You can't come in here 'cos there's no room .. ha ha!!"

I got out of bed on Sunday morning for the obligatory morning comfort stop and went to go back to bed and wait for my coffee and the paper. I kinda figured it would be a long wait but some well timed interrupting of the cartoon shows may have yielded results if they had actually been watching cartoons.

I returned to the bed find three little bodies all making themselves very comfortable and was informed that I couldn't go back to bed because they weren't moving. So I thought to myself that I would get the camera and take pictures of my children being adorably cute for a change. Another idea they soon put paid to.

The littlest one refused to put his head above the doona for me to take a picture because he didn't want me to post it on my blog.

"But Mum! I'm in my pyjamas and I might not like the photo and Mum ... you just can't!!!"

When asked why not, his only response was that some of the mums of kids that go to his school might see it and show their kids .. how embarrassment!!

So now I'm trying to figure out when my most boyish boy turned into a prissy princess!

Foreign languages

Due to growing up in several different countries, using snippets of different languages has never really bothered me. I can't hold a conversation in any of them but know a few words here and there and have used them with my kids too. So it's no surprise to hear Bradley say good morning in Spanish or Andrew thank me for something in Japanese. However, they have a language all their own which I really struggle to keep up with. Some of you other mothers may have heard of it .. Pokemon.

They appear to be speaking English but without actually making sense. OK, most kids have times where they make no sense but this is really starting to take over their entire conversational abilities. If someone, me for example, can't keep up with the talk of Charmanders and Bulbasaurs, they are subjected to the tone one uses when explaining something very simple to an idiot, as well as massive eye rolls and huge sighs.

"OK Mum. Pay attention. Charmander starts as a Charmander then evolves to a Charmeleon then a Charizard. Charizard is the final evolution but is a different type to the other two. They are fire type but Charizard is a fire/flying type."

"All right. So what about a Ditto?"

"Dittos don't evolve .. duh!"

"So what do they do?"

"Ditto transform into other Pokemon to use their attacks."

"What are attacks?"

"They all have different moves to defeat their opponent in battle but you have to earn exp to level up. There are different regions to get Pokemon from and you have to battle trainers and gym leaders in all the different regions to get badges. If you trade Pokemon between players and you don't have the right level of badges your Pokemon won't obey you and will do whatever it wants to."

"Sounds complicated."

"Nuh-uh. It's easy .. you're just too old to understand!"

"So teach me."

"Aaaaww Mum .. not now! I'm in a battle and besides it would take too long. You just don't get it Mum!" (insert big eye roll and heartfelt sigh here).

Entire car trips are taken up with discussing the relative merits of a grass type over a fire type; the benefits of forcing it to evolve earlier than it should; whether it should carry some form of berry or stone; whether they should breed this one to that one or if they can even breed at all; trading between games and players and the fairness of such trades; and on and on and on ...

I'll probably get a handle on it just as they grow out of it but in the meantime I'm regarded as fairly cool by some of Brad's friends because I know the name of some of them and can even identify their pictures in a line up.

Just what I always wanted .. to be the cool mum because of my very limited knowledge of cartoon pocket monsters. My life is now complete!

Quick update ..

Good news!!

I went to the doctor with Mum this afternoon to get the results of her lump biopsies and was told "it's all completely benign .. we didn't really expect it to be anything but we had to check anyway." Given her previous breast cancer history, it's to be expected that they would be a bit more cautious about anything new or different, but it's still such a relief to hear that there's nothing wrong.

She's now happily making plans for her Bali trip next week and Christmas after that. Oh and I think she wants to do some 'together time' in the garden soon ... nnnooooooo!!!

You know the old saying ..

"it never rains but it pours"? Well it's pouring here at the moment.

When I got to work this morning, all hell had broken loose because 'somebody' (me) had dared to use my own initiative and tidy up the office resulting in 'everybody else's' (my direct boss') stuff being 'thrown out'. After having a quick 'girl look' (ie under things and in her desk drawers), I produced said missing stuff and was left alone again for approximately two minutes before the store manager had a minor disaster with the computer system and froze everyone's computers for half an hour.

While I negotiated with the IT 'Help' Desk ('help' my backside!) for the safe return of the usage of our computers and their files, he managed to break the photocopier too. I was sure I could not be the only person in that place capable of working something as basic as a photocopier but today I was proven wrong time and time again. Anything that could break down today, did so with gleeful abandon, usually after being touched by one of three people (Manager, assistant manager and my direct boss). Just when I started to get on top of things, I had another one of 'those' phone calls (but not about the kids this time).

I found out that Mum had to have a biopsy done on some lumps she found last week. In typical-mother-trying-to-protect-her-child-style, she said she didn't tell me because she didn't want me to worry. Having her ring me in tears from outside the procedure room at the hospital was much more calming than warning me in advance .. NOT! Love you dearly mother, but I wish you'd let me help you with this sort of stuff and leave me alone when it comes to house maintenance and gardening! I'm going with her to get the test results tomorrow. Thoughts and prayers gratefully appreciated.

Thank heavens I managed to catch up with Jackie for a chat this morning, and left feeling so much more grounded than I had felt going in. I just hope I didn't take too much of her energy with me when I left!! Thanks Jack .. you're one in a billion and I love you for it!

Anyway, it really is raining and pouring outside so I'll take that as my cue to go and get snoring!

I got 'the call' from school today...

You know ... the one every parent dreads.

"Your child has been injured. We have called an ambulance. Can you please meet it at the hospital."

There weren't many details apart from "he's hurt his arm and it doesn't look right." I'm sure I broke some land speed records getting to the hospital, only to find I had beaten the ambulance there! After pacing up and down and getting steadily more worried, it pulled up and Alex stepped out, calm as you please, as if going to the hospital in an ambulance was an everyday occurrence.

"Oh, hi Mum. What are you doing here?"

Forcibly restraining myself from going all mama bear on him, I frantically checked him over for signs of blood and broken bones while trying to present a calm exterior. No blood, no obviously broken bones, not even any signs of shock. What a waste of my first aid training!

The school nurse, who had followed the ambulance to the hospital, explained that she was concerned that his arm was still numb after an hour and that it had gone a funny bluish colour in parts. That and the fact that he was "too calm" which apparently is very odd in boys of this age .. they're usually "passed out or crying for a band aid" (her words, not mine!)

After getting the details of how it happened and being seen by the triage nurse, we sat in the waiting room for half an hour. During this time, I began to suspect that he had embellished some of the symptoms while at school and that there wasn't actually anything wrong with him.

When we were seen by the doctor, who did all sorts of tests with a sharp implement (to test his pain response and see whether his arm really was numb), she pronounced that he had probably just pinched a nerve in his elbow and that he would be right as rain by tomorrow. Lucky us huh?

At least it got me out of work for a while. Now we just have to deal with the ambulance bill ...

Huh???

Now even though I'm not particularly in favour of daylight savings, I think this is taking things just a bit too far in the 'misunderstanding how the whole thing works' stakes. Here's some of the arguments we've heard before:

"We can't have it .. it will fade the curtains." (only if you turn the curtains so they're facing out the window!)

"The cows will be confused about when to come in for milking." (Don't think it's the cows that are confused!)

"The children won't go to bed if it's still light out." (Um, hello, who is the parent??)

And now this ...


see more pwn and owned pictures

Is it just me, or are you too amazed at how this person managed to make it to adulthood .. chronologically speaking of course!

Positivity

In direct contrast to my last post, I have decided to talk about positivity (which probably isn't even a word but I am fine with that!) Here's some of the good things that have happened or been overheard recently:

• I've changed the header picture to something a bit more upbeat .. tulips in springtime. It was taken at Araluen Botanic Park in September of this year on our yearly visit.
• When hanging out the washing today, I overheard the neighbours having a sing-along to Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody. They were half-sozzled and getting all the words wrong and it made me laugh so hard, I had to take a potty break!
• I got to catch up with Debbie this morning as well as yesterday afternoon and have a good chat. So good to be able to just talk and enjoy her company.
• Andrew got to have a sleepover at Debbie's last night so I took the other two to McDonald's for a breakfast treat. I even let them have an ice cream for morning tea .... sssh don't tell anyone!!
• I had a wonderful chat with Jackie last Wednesday and am hoping to see her again this week. It's amazing how we can go so long between seeing each other and yet pick up where we left off. I'm so grateful to have her in my life even if I don't get to see her as often as I'd like.
• I managed to scrap a page today! Nothing spectacular but I did it start to finish and even did the journalling, which is a big deal for me. That's always an "I'll do it tomorrow" job but this time I did it today! Yay me!!
• I heard a thump from the bathroom and called out to Brad asking if he was ok. His response was "It hurts but I'll be ok. You get used to pain, living with Alex." Made me laugh! Ah, realism hurts but is funny too.

All little things when looked at on their own, but good things nonetheless. Hope your weekend was good too!

Negativity

I have found myself being rather negative about a lot of things in my life lately (mostly work but what's new there?) and have been trying to work out why. It finally hit me today that all the things I'm being negative about are things or changes I can't control.

• new ordering system at work (which would work if everyone did things the way they're supposed to),
• people with a good work ethic applying to be transferred because they can't stand the inept management any longer (take me with you!!!!!),
• children growing up (and developing attitudes!),
• other people's attitudes (and lack of working brain cells),
• the neighbour's stupid little yappy dog that has taken to barking every night at 2am,
• not enough hours in the day (even with daylight savings),
• etc, etc, etc.

So I have decided to practice what I preach to so many others and use the 'rule of fives'. Will whatever I'm being negative/stressing/sarcastic about, matter in five minutes? Five hours? Five days? Five weeks? Five months? If the answer is yes, then take five deep breaths and deal with it in an appropriate manner. If the answer is no, take five deep breaths and ignore .. oops I mean deal with it ... in a humorous (if possible) manner.

I will not be a control freak .. I will not be a control freak .. I will not be a control freak .. lather, rinse, repeat as often as necessary.

Sounds I didn't want to hear this morning ...

• Peter's alarm going off at dark o'clock .. aka 4:15am .. so I could get up and take him to the airport, because he decided he's going back to fly in/fly out instead of driving to work.
• Peter's car stalling in the very long and impatient queue to get out of the airport drop-off-lane while I try frantically to restart the damn thing.
• The always pleasant sound of two cars' bumpers meeting in a not-so-pleasant manner, with the ensuing horns and yelling .. luckily not the car I was driving 'cos there is no way I would have gotten out of the car to assess the damage once I saw the other driver. He was huge and very, very annoyed. I was just waiting for a tyre iron to make an appearance!
• Arriving home to Alex's alarm clock being loud enough to be heard over the stereo in the car .. outside! Poor neighbours!!
• The sound of something tearing then "oops". Luckily for Alex, I have plenty of tea towels to replace the one he 'accidentally' tore while playing silly idiots in the kitchen.
• Laughter (good noise), then crying (oh well, at least there's no blood), then "I'm sorry .. I'm so sorry .. I didn't mean it .. I'm really sorry".
• More crying with a unidentified dripping sound .. which turned out to be blood .. which Bradley managed to get in the grout in at least 5 places .. aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!
• Alex complaining because I had the audacity to tell him to clean up the blood while I dealt with Bradley. "You made the mess .. you fix it!" "But Bradley made the mess .. it's his blood!" "Just do it .. before I make you bleed too!!"
• "There's nothing for lunch." "But I don't like ... " "Where's my ... " "I can't find ..." "Give it back!" "It's mine!" "I hate you!"

Sounds that make it all better ...

• "Love you. See you in two weeks."
• "I'll help you."
• "Here, I found it for you."
• "Thanks Alex/Drew/Brad."
• "You give the best cuddles."
• "Thanks Mum!"
• Laughter
• "Love you Mum!"

Wow .. that's old!

I am 13,049 days old today. I knew I felt old but 13,049 .. man, that's old! I think I'll stick to 35 years .. doesn't sound anywhere near as bad!

I'm still younger than Peter. He's 14,747 days old. He's 1,698 days older than me .. the cradle robber!

Found out how many days old you are here.

Today is the first day of daylight savings ..

and I have a feeling it's going to be a looooong summer.

I know some people, approximately 50.5% of Western Australia's population, love daylight savings and can't wait for it to start. I, however, am in the 49.5% who either don't like it or can't understand why we need it.

In summer our days are hot enough and long enough already, so the idea of spending more time outside in the hotter parts of the day just because the clock says to, doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. The kids are coming home from school at the hottest part of the day, as are a lot of part-time workers and the power grid couldn't cope with the demand for air conditioning last year. What's it going to be like this time?

It was supposed to be a trial for three years with a referendum to be held at the end of that time but with the change in governments, both federal and state, I wonder if it will just get swept under the rug. Have to wait and see, I suppose.

OK .. I'll climb down off my soapbox for now .. crack, creak, moan, groan .. getting too old for this!

The gods were kind on Friday ...

I wasn't feeling very happy with the world but went to work anyway only to find out that my current arch nemesis (my direct boss - aka "the micromanaging cow") wasn't going to be in all day! I split my lip from smiling so much (the split lip had absolutely nothing to do with having a blocked nose and breathing through my mouth all night OK? It just didn't!)

After finishing my happy dance, I had quite a good day except for the sour-faced killjoy who once again tried to wreck the Christmas party. There are currently only two members on the social club committee and we were informed by aforementioned sour-faced killjoy, quite snarkily about a month ago, that we were supposed to be having monthly meetings complete with minutes, have at least five committee members and that we had to get unanimous approval for the Christmas party that we had planned. If there was no meeting and approval, we couldn't have a party. After wondering who died and made her God, we dutifully tried to arrange some more members and a meeting, but finally gave up when everyone else refused to 'volunteer' for the committee. So the two of us organised a party anyway and if anyone has their nose put out of joint by it they can kiss my shiny white backside!

The thing that annoys me the most about the whole thing is that sour-faced killjoy has never attended, and has stated she will never attend, any of the functions organised by the social club but is the first to complain if something isn't to her liking. How can you criticise something almost everyone else is happy to have someone else organise and that you have no intention of participating in? Her logic, or lack thereof, boggles my mind. What's that saying .. put up or shut up? Fits like a glove here!

The boys were all invited to a sleepover on Friday night .. more evidence of the gods' benevolence .. and we didn't have to pick them up 'til 10am this morning. Can anyone guess what happened this morning with no kids around? Get your minds out of the gutter .. can anyone say sleep-in? It was glorious to not have an alarm go off in my ear at 6am or to be woken up by the sound of fighting and because Peter is home I didn't even have to get dressed and go and get them .. he went and got them for me!

On another note, the boys are going well back at school. I haven't had any phone calls reporting bad behaviour so either it's not happening or the teachers haven't noticed. I'm leaning toward the first one myself .. much more positive! Alex is getting some support from the special education centre this term which he has welcomed with open arms .. so far! I think he's managed very well without a special needs teacher's aide for the last couple of years, but am glad he is accepting help now when it is obviously needed that bit more.

Andrew got caught out trying to search for porn on the internet on Thursday .. don't think the teacher wanted you to research that for homework son! After a few questions as to why he did it, what was he looking for, etc, he finally broke into tears and wailed "I just want to know what's going to happen to me when I get to puberty". Well honey, you won't look like that during puberty 'cos I'm pretty sure 12/13 year old boys don't get back, sack and crack waxes; not to mention that the girls wouldn't look like that during puberty either. Due to the Net Nanny, he didn't get very far in his quest for knowledge via the internet and we soon had a 'come to Jesus' talk about trying it again. (Just in case you're wondering, yes I have had 'the talk' with him before now but this has now prompted Peter to have a little chat, as well as giving him some appropriate reading material).

Brad is just being his usual self so I'm thinking about getting him hypnotised to see if that will help with all the tummy troubles and 'accidents'. I've tried just about everything else and it's still not much better so I suppose it's worth a shot.

I'm starting to think seriously about Christmas presents .. and by 'think seriously', I mean 'seriously panic"! Not long now and I haven't even worked out what everyone's getting this year. The main problem is that most of the people in our families can afford to buy what they want, when they want it, so working out what to get them is difficult. Add in the fact that I"m one of those people who doesn't like giving gift cards and we have a bit of a dilemma. Any ideas for what to get for those sort of people?

Oh, and if you've finished your shopping and wrapping and are twiddling your thumbs while you're waiting to put up your Christmas tree so you can put the wrapped presents under it, please be quiet while the rest of us do our best headless chook impersonations! (Or for those who aren't into beheaded animal impersonations, try doing a blue-arsed fly impersonation instead!)

On that happy note, I'm off to spend some quality time with my husband .. when he gets home from the pub!

Meh ...

Nothing much happening so far this week. Same old, same old with work, except for trying to organise the work Christmas Party and dealing with all the 'politics' and backstabbing that goes along with that.

more animals

The kids are being their usual selves .. mostly good with a bit of attitude.

more animals

Overall this pretty much sums up my mood:


more animals

Hope everyone else's week is going well!

I got my fix!!

I finally got to meet Mackenzie today!! Oh that new baby smell .. inhale deeply .. mmmmmmm!

I know some people think that all babies are beautiful but there are an equal number that say all babies look like Winston Churchill. I have a one foot firmly each side of the fence in that I believe that all babies are beautiful to their mother but there are some who just aren't 'pretty' or 'cute'. You know the ones .. where you're searching for something 'nice' to say .. "Oh he looks just like his father" .. bald, fat and red in the face! No such problems here .. Mackenzie is one of the cute-to-everyone babies. Beautiful dark blue eyes, long eyelashes, a little rosebud mouth, a full head of beautiful hair and calm into the bargain .. what's not to love??

I got to cuddle her for nearly two hours and the boys all had a turn too. I even changed a poopy nappy .. while Lachlan (5.5yo older brother of Mackenzie) laughed at me trying to put the tiny little nappy on an even tinier behind. "You can't do it Aunty Donna. I do it for you. Do you know how to 'cos I can show you." Bec replied "It's OK Lachlan. Aunty Donna hasn't done this for a loooong time. She'll work it out!" With his 'help' (!) I managed OK with the nappy then had some more cuddles.

I really can't remember my boys ever being that small and all three of them were smaller than her. I left them all laughing at me because I stated I was going to have to have words with Peter about why he doesn't make girls!

And as I expected, it took Bradley all of twenty seconds once we were in the car to put in his request for a baby sister. Look out Peter .. I told him to ask you for one!!

What shape are you?

Spotted this quiz on Lee's blog and thought I'd take it just for fun. As usual, comments in italics are mine!

You are a Square (hey .. watch it!!)

• Squares don't always choose the square as their symbol, but that won't stop you from recognizing them (they're the geeks in the corner snickering at everyone else's perceived lack of knowledge!)
• Squares are organized, logical, conservative, loyal, analytical, task-oriented, and knowledgeable(even if their knowledge is random, useless facts that have nothing to do with the topic at hand!)
• Squares will not tolerate sloppy work and need structured settings. (can we say autistic tendencies anyone?)
• Squares believe in following the manual. They live by the 3 P's: policies, practices, and procedures. (should be 4 P's - add in pissing people off by being pedantic!)
• They are data collectors and will not make decisions without a thorough analysis of the data. If your boss is a square (as opposed to just being a dork!), be specific. They need things in writing, preferably with numbers (all on an organised flow chart with pretty colours and lots of arrows!).
• They have calendars and lists everywhere. They have a plan for everyday (get up, survive, go back to bed). They plan A, B, C, D (and panic when Q or V shows up unannounced!). Why, because they are the most linear thinkers (and have no life!)
• However they are not the strongest team players because a square tends to be a loner. Meetings just mess up their day. (oh how true .. especially when I'm stuck with the two biggest wafflers of all time!)
• On the positive side- squares are loyal. They are the person to call if you need bail money (unless of course, they're in there with you!)
• Squares are totally committed to friends and spouses (as opposed to committed by friends and spouses!)
• The motto squares live by is if you want a job done right, then do it yourself. (unless you have majorly annoyed them in which case, stuff you, you're on your own!)
• A square is a very left brained and tactical thinker. Squares take notes; they like to write everything down (and then promptly lose it amongst all the other "important" things they have written down and filed away safely for further use!).
• Squares are the most likely shape to work late at the office because they are the hardest workers in the group (all together now .. SUCKER!!)
• But, despite all their work, squares are slowest to make decisions because they always need more information. (can never have too much information .. snort!!)
• Homer was a square.(Homer the poet, not Simpson) (glad you clarified that .. even though the physical resemblance is amazing!)

So what do think? Is this a fairly accurate description of me? What shape are you?

(Oh and as a true detail oriented square, please disregard all the spelling mistakes in the test!)

A funny ..

more animals

And the waiting starts ..

The boys went back to school for Term 4 this morning .. all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed .. so why am I filled with a sense of dread?

Could it be because I know:

• that the lunchboxes that started out full of healthy food in the morning will still be full of healthy food at the end of the day?
• the children will not be full of healthy food but some concoction of other people's giveaways and leftovers and, as a result, be hyped up on sugar?
• I will have to iron uniforms again? (I hate ironing!)
• I'm going to have to turn into the Homework Police?
• I will have to have another meeting with the Deputy Principals about Alex's behaviour? (hopefully a major improvement on last term's behaviour!)
• Alex requires new uniform shirts again? (Stop growing already child!!)
• I will be falling over school bags, shoes and homework folders every afternoon for the next week until they get back into the routine of putting them where they belong? (Stop laughing .. it could happen! A girl has to have dreams you know!)

No .. that's not it. Keep thinking ...

thinking ...

thinking ...

Aha! I know what it is that has filled me with such a sense of doom ....

It's only 71 days 'til Christmas!!!

Are you ready???

As you may have gathered ..

... I like taking photos of sunsets.

This one was taken at Glenelg Beach in South Australia on the 20th of August, 2007. It was week three of our "Big Trip" across the country and back again, and we were lucky enough to get this beautiful sunset on our last day in SA.

One word ..

Seeing as I have no voice, the 'net is going to be subjected to more rambling than usual!

Found this on Leanne's blog (from back in July .. I'm so up-to-date .. not!!) It's harder than it sounds .. only one word answers permitted.

1. Where is your cell phone? lost
2. Significant other? Peter
3. Your hair? messy
4. Your mother? working
5. Your father? deceased
6. Your favorite thing? quiet
7. Your dream last night? weird!
8. Your favorite drink? milk
9. Your dream/goal? survival
10. The room you're in? study
11. Your hobby? reading
12. Your fear? heights
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? home
14. Where were you last night? bed
15. What you're not? skinny
16. Muffins? apple
17. One of your wish list items? carpet
18. Where you grew up? everywhere
19. The last thing you did? ate
20. What are you wearing? clothes
21. Your TV? off
22. Your pets? none
23. Your computer? annoying
24. Your life? busy
25. Your mood? flat
26. Missing someone? no
27. Your car? silver
28. Something you're not wearing? pyjamas
29. Favorite store? any
30. Your summer? personal
31. Like someone? yes
32. Your favorite color? green
33. When is the last time you laughed? today
34. Last time you cried? today

A lot of these probably don't make sense to you but they do to me in my drug-addled state!

Quote time ..

Found this quote this morning while surfing the 'net and it really struck a chord with me.

"I am aware that I am less than some people prefer me to be. But most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see - Douglas Pagels"


What quotes/sayings strike a chord with you? I desperately need inspiration/validation at the moment so help me out here people!! Pretty please?????

Pity party for one ...

I'm sick .. whinge, whine, stamping feet in childish tantrum .. and now I can't go see my beautiful new niece .. 'Not Happy, Jan!'

I actually took a day off work today due to my illness (sore throat and no voice), not the kids' for a change, and have spent most of the day using gestures and facial expressions to make myself understood. After getting Brad's attention I mimed what I wanted him to do, to which he replied "Life is just one never-ending game of charades for you, isn't it?" and then, when he realised he'd actually said it out loud, just stood there with a shocked expression on his face. I think he thought he was going to get in trouble for back-chatting so when I smiled at him, the look of relief on his face was priceless!

Yesterday should have been cancelled due to total lack of interest as well as the heaps of bad things just waiting to happen. Let's see:

1. Woke up late (8am) after falling asleep at about 2am.
2. Had hardly any voice when I woke up and had the beginnings of a very sore throat.
3. Decided to go to work anyway (figured I could always come home early .. what a joke!)
4. On my way to work I realised I had almost no petrol so was praying I would make it there.
5. Looked up from checking the fuel gauge and realised I was speeding so took my foot off the accelerator .. 5 seconds too late.
6. Got picked up for speeding and copped a $75 fine.
7. Finally arrived at work .. 20 minutes late .. and got 'spoken to' for being late.
8. Got into my office to find some thieving lowlife had pinched all my pens and my stapler.
9. Was 'spoken to' again for something else that wasn't even anything to do with me.
10. Realised I'd lost my mobile phone.

All that between 8 and 9am and it stayed that way pretty much all day.

Today, at least I was at home, even though I felt lousy and should have tried to catch up on some sleep instead of all the things I did instead. I managed to hem the curtains I've been meaning to get to for ages, played games with the boys, watched them draw all over the carport with chalk, listened to their versions of funny jokes, got them to help me with some cleaning up outside, did washing, played endless games of charades trying to get them to do other stuff for me, cooked them pancakes and brownies and watched Iron Man with them.

All in all, not too bad a day, even though I resorted to using pen and paper to get my requests across after they claimed they couldn't understand my 'charades'. Trouble with that was that they then claimed they couldn't read my writing. All very convenient I tell you! There will be consequences ...

probably next week when I get my voice back!

Overheard today ...

Girl 1: I can't do that.

Girl 2: Do what?

Girl 1: What you're doing.

Girl 2: What? Drinking and walking at the same time?

Girl 1: Yeah. How do you do that?

Girl 2: I don't know .. I just suck on the straw and walk.

Girl 1: Can you show me how?

At this point, I just shook my head and walked away.

(It probably wouldn't have seemed as weird if it was two little girls, but these two were about 16 years old .. and no, they weren't blonde!)

SS blog challenge #32

Haven't done one of these for a while so I thought it was about time to try again. (Comments in italics are added by me...who else?)

This blog challenge is easy (for some maybe!) .. Enjoy.

Countdown List

10 Things I Want to Do Before I Die:

• See my children grown and happy
• Watch my grandchildren grow up
• Get back to a healthy weight
• Travel overseas by myself
• Scrap all my important photos
• Learn sign language
• Get over my fear of heights
• Make a positive difference in a child's life (as well as in my own children's lives)
• Visit the houses I grew up in (in England, Fiji, Singapore & Hawaii)
• Learn to play a musical instrument .. properly!

9 Places I Last Spent Money:

• Amazon.com
• Big W
• Woolworths
• Southern River Pharmacy
• Laker's Tavern
• Caltex
• Creative Memories
• Just Scrapbooks
• McDonald's

8 Sounds I Routinely Hear Around My House:

• "Muuuum" from any and all of the boys
• Wii/PS2/Playstation/computer game sounds
• Laughing
• Arguing
• The washing machine
• Music
• Doors slamming (no-one seems capable of closing one quietly around here!)
• Kettle boiling

7 Real Restaurants Where I Last Ate Out:

(Not sure what is meant by a 'real' restaurant but I'm assuming a place with table service, real tablecloths, metal cutlery and alcohol. In which case, I haven't eaten out since last year's work Christmas party!)

• Atrium @ Burswood (aforementioned Christmas party)
• The Pasta Bowl in Margaret River
• Nicholson's Bar & Grill
• and that's about it! Sad huh?
• .
• .
• .

6 Things I've Recently Scratched Off My To-Do List:

• Pay bills
• Order Becky Fleck Sketch book
• Tidy scrap area
• Bake some snacks for the boys
• Check boys' summer school uniform for sizing
• Make doctor's appointment for Alex

5 People I Don't Know (or haven't met in person) But Would Like to Hang Out With:

• Lita
• Cowtown Stacy
• Kaye
• The Pioneer Woman
• Frank from Postsecret

4 Songs That Make Me Happy (or feel more upbeat):

• Annie's song - John Denver
• I'm yours - Jason Mraz
• Can't touch this - Ricki-Lee Coulter
• These are a few of my favourite things - Julie Andrews

3 Things I Hate To Do:

• Clean toilets
• Look foolish
• Deal with arrogant people

2 Things I'm Really Good At:

• Being positive (for other people!)
• Retaining (useless) information

1 Bad Habit:

• Procrastination .. "Procrastinators of the world, unite .. tomorrow."

Pitter patter

The little feet are here ... along with the rest of her. I'm an aunty again!!

Welcome to Mackenzie Hope born this morning (8/10/08) at 8:18 weighing in at 8lb 10oz. That's a lot of eights and ones .. wonder what that means in numerology?

I haven't seen her yet .. stupid work .. but will hopefully be able to get there on the weekend. It's a cut lunch and waterbag job just to get to the hospital but I will go and see them before they get home!

Poor Mark missed her delivery .. she wasn't prepared to wait .. but luckily was due home today anyway, so now he has a couple of weeks to spend at home with them. The twins have taken to her really well and are always wanting 'cuddles with my baby', to the point of telling their grandparents to give her back for more cuddles.

I can't wait to have cuddles of my own. Just love, love, love that new baby smell!!

Excuses, excuses

The reason I've haven't been posting much this week is I've been ... reading. Yeah I know, what a surprise, yada yada yada, but this time I was so engrossed I forgot to get dinner ready, do washing or even acknowledge the boys' existence. Pass the 'neglectful mother' award this way .. it will look great next to the 'uninterested wife' award!

Anyway, I have been reading the Twilight series. I know it's supposed to be aimed at the teen girl demographic, just as Harry Potter was supposed to be aimed at the tween/teen market, but it's actually surprisingly good. Well, maybe not 'surprisingly' as it obviously wouldn't be such a success if it wasn't good; more that I wasn't expecting to be as drawn into the story as I was.

I usually have little or no trouble putting a book down and doing things I know need to be done but this time I was delegating jobs left, right and centre to be able to keep reading. If Peter hadn't been home, I probably would have stayed up all night (and home from work) just to finish them. It nearly killed me to have to go to work yesterday halfway through Breaking Dawn .. not literally of course, but I was thinking about it all day. I won't say anything about how it ends and what happens in the lead up to the end so I don't spoil it for those yet to read it, but I really enjoyed all four books.

I've also been reading some more of the Stephanie Plum books as well as the Maximum Ride series by James Patterson. The Maximum Ride series is another set aimed at the tween/teen market but I'm kind of at the stage where I don't want to have to think too hard about what I'm reading .. just want to go along for the ride. Ha ha, I crack myself up .. Maximum Ride, go along for the ride .. get it?


(crickets chirping in the silence)


Maybe you had to be there....

Quirks

I've been tagged by Lita!

Here are the rules:
Link the person who tagged you.
Tell about 6 quirks of yours.
Tag 6 fellow bloggers to do the same.
Leave a comment to let them know.

1. All the washing has to be folded a certain way. If anyone else folds it, I have to do it again my way. (I usually wait until they've gone home before I do it though!)
2. As soon as I get home from being out anywhere, I take off all my jewellery except for my necklace. I can't stand wearing rings while I'm doing household stuff and will even take them off to scrap.
3. I have to wash something new before I can use/wear it. Except scrapbook stuff of course!
4. When I eat things like jellybeans or M&Ms, I eat all the odd ones first leaving pairs of the same colours to eat last.
5. I have to lie on my left side to be able to fall asleep in bed.
6. When I make coffee, I have to put the milk in before the water. It tastes different if it's done the other way round.

I can't think of six people to tag so I'm only going to tag Debbie.

Random stuff ...

• I managed to achieve some of the things from the list in the previous post. Numbers 1, 2, 4, 5, 8, 12 and 13 all got done or are almost finished. I know, I know .. don't count your chickens before they hatch .. but they are this close (insert finger and thumb placed about 1/2 cm apart) to being done.
• I really enjoyed number 12 (which for those who haven't read the previous post .. tsk, tsk .. was Debbie's visit). We both tried to do something creative, me with my albums and she with her cards, but we just weren't channelling very much mojo so we gave up and had cuppas and brownies (number 5 completed!) instead.
• Bradley was explaining some very in depth specifications on his Mechquest warrior and at the end, after understanding absolutely none of what he had just said, I said "whatever floats your boat darling." His instant reply was "not concrete; that just makes it sink."
• Andrew and I were having a (pretend) war of words when he said something rather cheeky. So I told him he was a cheeky little boy to which he replied "I can't help it. You made me with four cheeks. That's what makes me cheeky!"
• I'm trying to decide whether to look for another job as I'm really unhappy where I am. I like the job and most of the people but the change in management has really affected morale and everyone is just miserable all the time. I realise there's politics in every workplace and that some people will just never get along with others, but surely not every workplace is this bad. Then again, maybe it's just another stage .. a "this too will pass" situation. Here's hoping!
• I managed to start a layout about Brad losing his first tooth (four years ago!) so hopefully I will be sufficiently motivated to finish it tonight.
• Andrew and Brad both love reading the "i can has cheezburger" site. The study has been ringing with the sound of their laughter for the last 20 minutes. Such a glorious noise!
• All in all, a pretty good day. Oh and the brownies were really yummy! They'll be even better heated up with some ice cream for dessert. They were supposed to be for snacks during the week but they're nearly all gone already. Oh well, I can always make another batch when the kids have gone to bed .. and tomorrow morning .. and tomorrow afternoon ..

Things to do ..

..hopefully today. The joys of a long weekend!!

1. Get rid of headache
2. Find material and zips for Alex to make himself a new pencil case
3. Get Alex started on making pencil case (so he'll leave his brothers alone!)
4. Washing, washing and more washing
5. Bake some goodies to tide the kids over during the first week of the holidays
6. Help the kids start (and hopefully finish) the mini album for Pete
7. Hang new curtains in my room
8. Help Andrew finish sorting out his room (I'm sure a paper bomb exploded in there!)
9. Pay bills
10. Vacuum games room .. again. (I hate dark carpet .. it shows every speck of dust!)
11. Water potted plants
12. Enjoy visit from Debbie
13. Scrap .. if I have time!

I thought that if I wrote at least some of them down, I might have a chance of completing a few! Numbers 1, 5, 12 and 13 are taking priority right now so I'd better get started.

Sleeping Beauty

As much as I despair of ever getting through to this child, at least he still looks like an angel when he's asleep.

It's 3 o'clock on Sunday afternoon and he's asleep. Mum came over to take him to Bunnings for some rose spray (and to give me a break from the incessant boundary pushing) but he decided he was, in his words, "unusually tired" and didn't want to go. So Mum took the other two instead and Alex took himself off to bed. Must be going to grow again!

Can you hear that? Ssssshhh ... listen ... blissful silence! I'm off to get a cup of coffee and a good book while I can. Hope you're all enjoying your afternoon too.

Now I understand ..

.. why some mothers eat their young!! It's so they don't become teenagers!

I had a meeting at school this morning about Alex and some of his behaviours. The meeting itself went well and I came away feeling like we were all on the same page and would be able to work together to help Alex. I should have had Alex in the meeting too; maybe then he would be on the same page as the rest of us. The meeting finished at 9:30am and I was at work by 10am. I was back at the school at 12:30pm picking Alex up. And on the last day of term too.

He had decided he didn't want two boys talking to his friend so he told them to leave. When they didn't, he threatened them and when they still didn't leave, he thumped them both. In the ensuing scuffle, Alex fell over and hurt himself which he then had the nerve to complain about to his class teacher. The original phone call to come pick him up was that he had hurt himself and wanted to go home. The next phone call, while I was packing up at work to go get him, was that he had started a fight and "it would be in his best interests to not be on the school grounds for the rest of the day." After hurriedly explaining things to my boss I raced down to the school expecting to find an at least somewhat contrite child, but was greeted with a boy who has absolutely no appreciation of what he's putting everyone through.

I know we're supposedly not given more than we can handle, but I really wish someone had checked with me first. I'm at my wit's end as to what to do with him and don't know where else to turn. Ultimately I'm hoping this is just a stage he's going through and also that I've got enough patience to get through it and out the other side with both of us relatively intact. At the rate we're going, alive is all I dare hope for at the moment. He is on severe restriction of privileges (computer, TV, etc) and is grounded for the holidays. (Not that that makes much difference .. he doesn't have a social life outside of school!)

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

breathe in..1.2.3.4..breathe out..1.2.3.4..breathe in..1.2.3.4..breathe out..1.2.3.4......

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading and letting me vent. If not, oh well, you won't be reading this anyway!

Ch-ch-ch-changes

In case you hadn't noticed, I decided to change things just a little around here. Supposedly a change is as good as a holiday and as I'm in desperate need of a holiday, which I can't have at the moment, a change is as close as I'm going to get for the next couple of months. (Phew, how was that for a run-on sentence?)

Anyway, the new picture up the top is one I took in January in Broome. It's a sunset looking out over Cable Beach but could quite easily have been a sunrise over Roebuck Bay on the other side of the peninsula, if it hadn't been the wet season and if the clouds were soft and fluffy looking instead of being great big sheets of grey nothingness and if I could have been bothered to get out of bed that early, which I actually did all three mornings and still didn't manage to get a nice colourful sunrise photo! (note-to-self: must find those sunrise photos and stop these run-on sentences!!)

The previous header picture (the waterlilies) is one I took at Araluen Botanic Park in the Perth hills back in 2005, as was the one before that (the tulips with the waterfall).

I've decided I'm going to change the picture as often as the mood takes me so keep an eye out and let me know what you think.

I've noticed in the Feedjit thingy on the side of the page that there are a few different places starting to show up on a more regular basis. Quairading, Merredin, Kwinana and Sydney jump to mind. I know most of the people who visit regularly from Perth, Melbourne and Oswego, New York, USA (Hi Kaye!) but I don't have a clue who would be reading from these other places. Please drop in and say hi in the comments section as I'd love to get to know you too!

Enough rambling for now. I'd better go hang out the second load of laundry for tonight, set the dishwasher going, finish putting away the various assorted detritus from another day with children, iron uniforms for tomorrow, put the bins out for collection in the morning and head for bed soon as I've got another busy day unloading trucks tomorrow. (A story for another time!) Night all!

It's all in the (c)attitude

Bradley:

more animals

Andrew:

more animals

Alex:

more animals

I never realised how many ..

house rules my kids had actually listened to until I heard them telling Alex's friends:

• "You can't ...",
• "We have to ...",
• "That goes away here not there"
• "We're not allowed to .."
• "Only one at a time"

and my personal favourite:

• "Put it away yourself. Mum's not your slave!"

All in all, it's been a relatively quiet night despite having 5 boys in the house (2 x 13yo, 1 x 12yo, 1 x 11yo & 1 x 9yo). I think the 3 older boys finally fell asleep some time around 2am after their sugar-filled 'midnight' feast at 11pm. Luckily for them, they let me sleep in this morning until 9am or there would have been bloodshed for sure!

Now I just have to negotiate the wreckage that is my kitchen for a cup of coffee and then I can start the day in earnest. Or not.

Check this out

I was reading a new-to-me blog this morning and found this. It's pretty cool, especially for a stationery geek like me!


EepyBird's Sticky Note experiment from Eepybird on Vimeo.

"I need a papyrus scroll"

... is what I heard at 4pm this afternoon. The ensuing conversation went something like this:

"You need what?"

"A papyrus scroll."

"Why?"

"For a school project."

"When is it due?"

"Technically not until Tuesday next week but ..." (voice trails off into mumbling behind hand)

"What? Stop mumbling child! When do you really need it by?"

"Tomorrow so one of the other kids in my group can write on it and do some hieroglyphic things to it."

"Tomorrow?! OK. Hop in the car and we'll go find a shop that specialises in ancient papyrus scrolls. The shops are open tonight so it shouldn't be too hard, should it?"

"Muuuum! (stretching it out to two whole syllables) I need to make one, not buy one."

"Oh. I didn't realise you had perfected a time travel device. By all means, off to ancient Egypt with you and don't be late for dinner."

"Muuuuuuum! (three syllables this time!) I already rang Nonnie and asked if we could borrow her paper-making kit so we can make some paper and then we can stain it and tear it a bit to make it look like a papyrus scroll so can we go get it please?"

"What's this 'we'? Aren't you supposed to be making it?"

"I will be, with some help from you 'cos I've never done it before and you said you did it once in primary school and that's more times than I've ever done it so you have to help me or else I'll get in trouble and you don't want me to get into trouble again 'cos then we'll have to deal with another detention and I know you don't like it when I get detentions and if you don't help me it will be your fault this time." (finally stops talking and starts gasping for air like someone who has been underwater for five minutes.)

"OK, get in the car and we'll go get the kit from Nonnie's house. Oh, and just so you know, I stopped listening after the part where you said you were doing it."

"But Muuuuuuuuuuuuuum! (five, or was it six?, syllables.) I need help!"

(Must.keep.sarcastic.answers.to.myself! I am Pollyanna! I am Anne of Green Gables! I.will.not.give.in.to.this.temptation! Happy thoughts .. happy thoughts .. chocolate .. coffee .. both at same time .. aah .. that's it!)

Can anyone guess what I spent the last two and a half hours doing? And no, unfortunately, it didn't involve either coffee or chocolate!

It never ends ...

Just when one issue goes away (temporarily at least) another one rears its ugly little head.

Peter and I have been having quite a few 'discussions' about what to do with Alex's schooling. Peter reckons he's had enough chances at this school and isn't putting in the effort to justify keeping him there. I think he needs to be in this sort of environment, suspensions and detentions not withstanding, to try and foster some sense of accountability and understanding of consequences.

The trouble is, we have used the threat of being removed from this school as a consequence of getting another detention for any reason, and now we have to decide one way or the other.

If we don't remove him, is this going to send the message that he can do whatever he likes and get away with it?

Or by removing him, are we going to be going from the frying pan into a raging inferno?

I have said to Peter that the only reason it seems so bad at his current school is because there are consequences to his actions, the school follows through on them and they keep in contact with us to let us know that he's having issues. I think the constant feedback and communication are making it seem a lot worse than it is because there just wasn't that level of interaction when we were at school. If we didn't do our homework, our parents didn't find out until the end of the year when the reports came out.

If he were at the other school that Peter wants to send him to, I don't think we would have that same level of follow-up, accountability and communication. It's a huge school with something like 3000 students and I'm scared he will just fall through the cracks.

I'm probably just in protective-mummy-bear-mode, but I don't want to uproot him from his only two friends in the whole world and what I believe to be a better learning environment, just to prove that we are serious about following through on a threat made out of frustration.

Then when you factor in that, according to Peter, "one out, all out" and I'll have two other very upset boys being dragged away from their comfort zones too.

Any ideas??

Oh my!

What big ears you have!

All the better to hear you with my dear!

What a lot of teeth you have!

All the better to eat you with my dear!

What a strange tongue you have! Is it supposed to do that?

Yes! Yes it is. Look my brother has one just like it.

But what about your other brother?

Oh, he's inherited Dad's genes. They have very strange tongues indeed! Not a sideways curl in sight.

(This all started because Bradley came to me and said"Look what I can do Mum!" Then they all had to get in on the act. I'm so proud!!)

I promised myself ..

that I would try and be more positive in the things I say. I'm no Pollyanna or Anne of Green Gables, but I'm trying anyway. I'm also trying to do one nice and unexpected thing for someone per day without expecting any sort of reward.

So far I've made it through two days and have achieved my goals.
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It's been the hardest two days of my life!!!

I never realised how hard it would be to not join in with the whinge sessions at work, to bite my tongue when someone says/does something really stupid, to not be sarcastic when the situation is just crying out for it and to stop and think before saying or doing anything. But, overall, I'm getting there.

What are you trying to achieve this week?

Dear Universe ...

This week I would like to:

• thank you for giving me the intestinal fortitude to keep returning to a place that is slowly draining my life force and logical thinking skills. I realise that it would be extremely unhealthy to be surrounded by happy and joyous people all the time, but can you please arrange for it to happen at least some of the time?
• question why on Earth did you decide to give two of my male children testosterone surges at the same time? (Yes I do realise that it would be kind of pointless to give female children huge testosterone surges but work with me here!) If you are planning on doing this again in the near future, please let me know first so I can run away to somewhere more peaceful like, oh I don't know, maybe Iraq?
• ask for help to understand why the washing pile, children's appetites, my waistline and certain people's egos never seem to get any smaller. 'Nuff said.
• thank you for giving us such a choice of designers of women's lingerie and swimsuits. Just a side note, when do you think I will have paid enough for my obvious bad karma in all my previous lives, because I'd really like to be able to buy a bra that fits, is comfortable and doesn't look like a frontline battle outfit.
• thank you for all those wonderful people around me who are capable of seeing when I've had enough and who just "move away from the crazy lady". Now if you could just work on the rest of them, I would be eternally grateful, especially if you could manage it before I end up in prison for mass homicide. Then again ... at least I wouldn't have to deal with them, or their mates, in there. Leave this one with me; I'll get back to you later.

All in all, thank you for allowing me to learn so many lessons about human behaviour this week. I really appreciate this opportunity but next time, please could you check that I wasn't already having a breakdown first? Thanks again!

Yours faithfully,

Donna

I'm officially the mother of a teenager ..

and I don't like it! Alex is now thirteen (and one day, as he reminded me this morning) and I feel like I blinked and he grew up overnight.

Where did my baby go?

What happened to my chubby little toddler?

And the talkative little pre-schooler?

As well as the sometimes unco-operative, but mostly lovable primary school child?

I miss them all but I'm glad he's growing into a fine young man.

(Except for that teensy-tiny complication of the three-day-suspension but aren't we all supposed to learn from our mistakes? Here's hoping!)

I took yesterday off work, ostensibly to deal with the repercussions of the suspension but really just to be home with him on his first teen birthday, and we had a great day. Peter took a couple of days off work as well and drove down from work on Sunday night, arriving after Alex was asleep, just so he could be home with him too.

The two younger boys gave Alex their presents before school (a DS game and a Wii game) and then Peter and I took him shopping for his present. We wanted to get him a stereo for his room and a "proper" watch but wanted him to have some input into the choice. We managed to get both with a minimum of angst and then treated him to lunch. Of course, still being a kid, he wanted Macca's so we went to the shopping centre food court where he and Peter had Macca's and I had a ham and cheese crepe .. yum!

As soon as we got home, he set up his new stereo and settled into his room to play his new DS games. I tried to go and sit with him to watch him play and was told that I could watch another time .. and not in his room because that's where he goes "to get away from it all". (I'd prefer to get away from it all in Fiji or even Margaret River, but I suppose it's a good thing that he's easy to please .. for now!)

We went to Sizzler for dinner with Pete's Mum and Dad and my Mum. Andrew and Brad thought that Sizzler was only in Queensland so they were over the moon that there's one here. The food was ok but the kids' joy at being able to help themselves to whatever they wanted made up for it. After dinner, we thoroughly embarrassed Alex by singing Happy Birthday at the top of our lungs but he got his revenge (on me anyway) by refusing to eat any of the birthday cake I had made at his request. Devil's Food Cake with chocolate icing .. how could he want Sizzler's melted soft serve chocolate ice cream mush over that? I always knew he was switched in the hospital .. he can't possibly be my child!!

As much as I joke about you Alex, I love you heaps and I'm glad you're my baby .. sorry, not my baby .. my teenager!

What a week!

Where to start? "Start at the very beginning. It's a very good place to start." (Anyone else have that song stuck in their head now?) Anyway ...


Wednesday 27 August

• Had the day off work because Brad has tummy troubles .. again!


• Did very little else but washing, washing and more washing. At least the weather was good enough to get most of it dried because the evening chill hit.

Thursday 28 August

• Due to having Wednesday off work, I missed the staff meeting at which all the new rules of the offices were discussed. So I had my own "little chat" with my new boss where she basically asked me to play enforcer and tattletale for her. She has also asked that I use my "close relationship" (said with raised eyebrows by her) with one of the managers to pull him into line too. Sorry, nope, not going to happen. That's your job lady, not mine! And since when does being able to have a decent conversation with someone of the opposite sex constitute a "close relationship" worthy of raised eyebrows?


• After leaving work exactly on time (gee what a rebel I am!), I went shopping for a wedding present for a friend (Belinda) whose wedding was that afternoon. I ummed and aahed over what to get and ended up buying a lovely picture frame and statue gift set from Willow Tree. Then headed for home to change for aforementioned wedding.


• On my way to pick up Jackie to take her to Belinda's wedding, I received a phone call from the boys' school telling me that Alex was suspended for three days for fighting. After an initial bout of "I'm going to kill him with my bare hands", I relegated it to the "I'll deal with that later pile" in my mind and went to the wedding. It was lovely to see Belinda so happy after all she's been through and Harvey looked pretty happy too!


• I dropped Jackie off and went home to deal with Alex. As soon as I called him down to the lounge room and told him to shut the doors, he confessed all. (And I was so looking forward to trying out the new torture tools too! Maybe next time.) Whilst I could understand why he reacted the way he did, as can the vice-principal, violence is never an acceptable way of dealing with problems. So now he, I mean we, had to deal with the end result. The worst part was ringing Pete to tell him. Alex was so terrified that Peter was going to just take him out of the school that he cried himself to sleep.

Friday 29 August

• Worked my normal hours at Livingston then worked an extra 3 hours at Armadale store, helping them to get stock and invoices processed. Was absolutely exhausted by the time I got home (with takeaway for tea because I couldn't be bothered even trying to think about what to cook!)
• Talked to Peter some more about what to do with Alex. Surprisingly, he said that he wasn't going to "go Amish" on him because he felt the suspension was enough punishment in itself (Hellooo? Are we talking about the same child? Not going to school is not a punishment!!) After a bit more discussion, we agreed that Alex should have some privileges removed and have to do a whole lot more chores around the house until he goes back to school.

Saturday 30 August

• Worked at Armadale again for another 3 hours and came home rather sore and tired. Three and a bit pallets piled high with boxes of books, that all needed to be opened and scanned then neatly repacked, would tend to make most people tired. It was a bit disheartening leaving there with another 4 pallets still to be checked, but at least we got some of them done.
• After the tiring morning, I spent most of the afternoon lazing around reading .. I mean supervising the children's attempts at housework. Because they need to know how to do these things for the future, right? Every boy should know how to clean a bathroom and toilet especially considering they still can't aim!!
• Had an extra child in the house Saturday night .. Lachlan, Mina's son, came for a sleepover. Luckily they were all well behaved so I could continue my lazing around with no bloodshed. I finally managed to get them into bed at 9pm and I think they fell asleep by 9:30pm. I'm not 100% sure because I was dozing in the recliner in the lounge room. Sometimes those chairs are more comfortable than my bed!

Sunday 31 August

• Slept in until 7am .. woohoo! .. then got up and tried to persuade the boys to stop playing the Wii long enough to eat breakfast and get dressed for the day. I'm still not sure if I succeeded with he breakfast part but they'd eat if they were hungry, wouldn't they?
• Mina picked Lachie up around 10am so we sat and had a cuppa and a chat before she left to help a friend clean up her shed and I sat down to read another book.
• I realised at noon that I'd said "anytime after 12" to Debbie and Mum for scrapping so I hurriedly cleaned off the scrapping tables and then tried to decide which project to work on. They both turned up around 1pm and we had a lovely afternoon scrapping. Mum left a bit early to go home to have a nap before starting work that night which left Deb and I some time to have a good chat about everything and nothing. Good times!